Reinhard is a funny name

I'm going to bet that the last thing my many British readers want to hear right now is some pounding German Techno, but the shuffle cares not for such things as football results...



Without getting into the whole Techno = Minimal = Boring thing again, let's just say that you don't need to listen to a whole lot of Techno that's out there today, because most of it is minimal and boring. Shit. There I go again. I'm like a boring, minimal broken Techno record, ain't I? But really, if you just wanted to keep casually aware of what's going on in the genre without putting any effort into it, you could achieve that pretty easily by just buying Kompakt's annual Total compilation each year. Here's a little ditty from some Bratwurst-eatin' fool named Reinhard Voigt, a lesson in building tension...

Reinhard Voigt - Liebe Deine Musik (ysi)

... without quite ever releasing, but don't worry... I'm going to avoid the obvious metaphor. Anyhoo, once a year these bad boys come out and then they're gone... as you might have guessed when you saw just how much they're asking for it. As always, there are ways around that and I leave you to them...

Yo, eh?

Canadian music. You thought it was all Gordon Lightfoot and Anne Murray? I think I need to straighten you suckas out, eh?



I don't imagine that I'm breaking any news when I say that Canada is not exactly associated with Hip-Hop. I mean, there are only so many things that rhyme with "moose" or "Tim Horton's". But you really begin to realize how un-rap-tacular the Great White North is when you realize that TO THIS DAY, the most successful rapper in the history of Canada in terms of sales is... Maestro Fresh-Wes... and I'm pretty sure that's only the case because Snow counts as Reggae. Not that the Maestro wasn't dope, mind you, but I'm seriously doubting that many of you have ever heard of him. Well, here ya go...

Maestro Fresh-Wes - The Mic's My Piece (ysi)

So, to sum up, Canada gots mad flow. You better recognize... eh?

My computer needs some Valtrex...

More stupid virus issues = a light week of posting around here. It's almost as if Paris Hilton had been using my shit while I was away from my desk. So, I apologize for Bill Gates and his shitty Microsoft shitcraft. As a result, House Music Friday has been bumped because I had this one almost ready to go before Porno.com popped up and tried to prove to me that girls do, in fact, like it put in there (if you know what I mean)...



But hey, at least your House was pre-empted by The Badu, who is easily one of the 10 coolest chicks in the universe. It's actually kind of wild how this track popped up in the shuffle just a couple of days after I watched Dave Chappelle's Block Party again and was particularly lovin' this song in it. It's one of my very favorites of hers, let's just get to it...

Erykah Badu - Back In The Day (ysi)

Alrighty then... have a great weekend, suckas...

Of Futebol and Flannel

Another amazing soccer game. A few more like that and people in the US might start giving a shit, ALTHOUGH I still don't think you're gonna get any spike in interest for MLS, because that shit is weak sauce. Which has nothing to do with music...



So your listening to some music that's House, but slower, and there's like guitars and shit. Now, take a good look at your DJ... If it's a beardy dude in flannel, you're probably listening to something Balearic. What's Balearic you say? It's like, to paraphrase that Winona Ryder line in Reality Bites... "I can't define it, but I know it when I hear it." Plus the dude who makes it is beardy and is wearing flannel. And hey, there's a reason I gave you a link to click on. Don't make me do all the work. Now, Prins Thomas is from Norway, so the whole beard/flannel combo serves the dual purpose of a) alerting us that this could be classified as the Balearic Sound and b) to keep his ass warm. It's fucking cold in Norway from what I gather. Anyhoo, get down to this crunchy groove...

Prins Thomas - Nattonsket (ysi)

And I will leave you with...



GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

Wait... this dude's white?

Sorry I missed y'all yesterday. The computer from which I blogify got this nasty virus on it. Which makes me wonder... how much do you think companies could save in paying IT dudes if they'd just BUY SOME FUCKING MACS?!?! A gazillion? Two? "I'm a PC!" Oh, really? Well, FUCK YOU then. FUCK YOU RIGHT IN THE FIREWALL! (The porno that was popping up on my machine yesterday demonstrated some very unique positions for you to use...)

Now that I have that off my chest... I had planned to post my DJ set from Sunday night for you yesterday... btw, NAILED IT... but I forgot to hit record before I started, because that's how I roll. You'll just have live with the pain of missing it live. And instead you get this...



Detroit Jazzman and musical member of the Reggie Cleveland All-Stars Lyman Woodard is the man of the day today. Quite a legend in the Motor City scene and another one of those guys much like Dexter Wansel whose contribution was probably much greater out of the spotlight than in it. But like Dexter, when he put stuff out under his own name, it was straight fire. Never mind the lo-fi-ness of this recording, this one here is a banger, a killer, a straight up Jazz/Funk monster... but enough words. Dig it...

The Lyman Woodard Organization - Cheeba (Parts 1 & 2) (ysi)

I was not joking, was I? But again, I never joke. Just the percussion section alone... and that bassline. To paraphrase Jimi, 'scuse me while I sample this guy. Ok, gotta run...

We was robbed!

Man, that World Cup game between the USA and Slovenia was A) really fucking good and B) only re-affirmed to everyone why soccer sucks most of the time. A paradox, but I think you feel me on that, no? Anyhoo...



This is the first in a series of compilations from the long-defunct Svek label from Sweden. Not sure why they're defunct, though, as they released a lot of quality House (and other kinds) of music. Alexi Delano is no stranger to you, the readers of Tonegents, and here he throws down a loose, ramshackle (and you know we love ramshackle around here, too) but ultimately very funky number that makes me completely forgive him for the rather weak-ass title he decided to give it...

Alexi Delano - Slam That Bass, Baby! (ysi)

There are 5 volumes of Lords Of Svek and they are all quite out of print and not cheap to come about... so you know what to do. Have a great weekend, THE USA WAS ROBBED!

D.O.A.

"This is anti-autotune, death of the ringtone
This ain’t for iTunes, this ain’t for sing-along
This is Sinatra at the opera, bring a blonde
Preferably with a fat ass who can sing a song"

- Sean Carter

I have, unfortunately, been forced to listen to a large amount of current chart Pop at my job recently and the one thing I've noticed... other than how generally fuckawful it is... and I know this isn't exactly breaking news, but the fucking autotune! Every damn song is using it now and it makes every damn singer sound alike. The only difference between me and Ke$ha is an effects processor... okay, and tits. Me + Effects Processor - Tits = Ke$ha, and I will make you a cover of "Tik Tok" to prove it. Except that I hate that song like poison. Got stuck in my head for like three weeks straight. I almost jumped in front of a bus to end it. Anyhoo, I wonder if the kids these days (who are on MY FUCKING LAWN AGAIN! GET OFF THERE!) would be able to have any appreciation for raw, untreated vocals (here comes the segue) of someone like Alton Ellis. They'd probably be all like, "This guy can't sing at all". Actually, kids, this is what the human voice really sounds like. It's not always perfect. As, a matter of fact, the imperfection is what gives it some soul. Then they'd probably ask me what Soul is and I'd smash them upside the head with something heavy and/or sharp. Dig the Rock Steady sound...

Alton Ellis - Joy In The Morning (ysi)

Nice. And I'm sure that if Alton Ellis were alive today, he'd be thrilled that I spent more of his post quoting Jay-Z and talking about some chick with a fucking dollar sign in her "name" than him... but thems the breaks, pal...

Did you ever know that you're my 4hero?

Today the ol' iTunes on shuffle brought some old friends back to the blog for their first visit in quite some time...



And those friends would be 4hero, some cats who are pretty good at being awesome. Wish I was presenting you with a brand new record here, but nope. 'Cuz they ain't one. But hey, if you ain't have this one already, you ain't even ready for no new shit, yo! Man, I just got all Ebonics on yo ass there, didn't I? Anyhoo, this one features Miss Jody Watley, blast from the past for dat ass. Actually, despite the fact that she hasn't been a constant chart success for quite some time, if you check out what she's been up to... well, let's just say the girl's been doing quite well for herself. She's become quite a force in the world of style and musically had the sense to hook up with these guys, King Britt and some other very cool folks over the past few years. Jody Watley = hipper than ever...

4hero - Bed Of Roses (Ft. Jody Watley) (ysi)





BUT! Because I know you want it and you know you want it and I know you know I know you know you want it... um... what? Oh, right...



Tomorrow... something else!

It doesn't always have to be street...

And it doesn't get much less street than this guy...



Okay, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Really, Tone? LL Cool J? Look, I love NCIS:Los Angeles as much as the next guy, but what gives?" Well, believe it or not, LL Cool J was once a rapper. No, for reals. This is his first record. Came out in 1985. Twenty-freaking-five years ago. You say you weren't born yet? Fuuuuuuck me, I'm old. But that's beside the point. Before you enjoyed his Oscar-worthy performances in such cinematic milestones as Deliver Us From Eva, LL rocked rhymes over beats. He pretty much created Pop Rap (says so right on Wikipedia) with this album, you know. And he, uh, well, he just got poppier and poppier, but never mind that. Up through Mama Said Knock You Out, Cool James' oeuvre is pretty much unkfuckwiddable if, shall we say... quaint by today's standards...

LL Cool J - You Can't Dance (ysi)

I actually went to an LL Cool J concert once at UC Irvine. It was me, my friend the only other white male in the room, and 10,000 screaming young Asian girls. When LL ripped off his shirt, poured water over himself and humped his stool, pandemonium exploded... and the Asian girls liked it, too... WHAT?!?!

Funk in Outtaspace

So I'm feelin' pretty good today... went to the chiropractor and got my shits adjusted so I'm limbered up for some serious bloggin'... LET'S DO THIS THING!



Got some heavy gear for ya today. This one here is an all-time secret weapon dance floor destroyer. Keyboardist Dexter Wansel is one of those guys who's behind-the-scenes contributions may outshine his work as a solo artist... the man was integral to the Philly Sound of the '60s and '70s... but this record here... I'd say he'd be a legend even if this was the only thing he'd done, it's that good. This one's so far ahead of it's time that a friend of mine used to mix it right into funky House sets, but he lied to me and told me it was some new shit that he wasn't gonna tell me about. DJs can be like that about their secret weapons. That is because DJs are douchebags. So anyhoo, years passed and I found this record having no idea it had THAT song on it. So suck it, Dewey Chan, I finally exposed your clever ruse. MUAHAHAHAHA...

Dexter Wansel - Life On Mars (ysi)

Oh, and speaking of douchebag DJs, yours truly will be spinning this Sunday night, June 20 at the Air Conditioned Lounge on Pico... be there...