Blog-achella-geddon 2012!: Native American Glowsticks

Today we will land on a band I was supposed to see a couple of months ago... but I missed it. How's THAT for a story?

I'm told British band WU LYF's name stands for "World Unite Lucifer Youth Foundation" which makes absolutely zero sense, but it's got "Lucifer" in it so they MUST be cool, right? The Devil is so RAWK. But nah. They actually manage to be shouty & shoegazy at the same time, which is approximately as awful as it sounds...

This Death Grips guy scares the fuck outta me, dude. I'm gonna have nightmares where's he's outside my window with an axe and a clown's head, I shit you not...

And both The Black Angels and Dawes are middling Indie Rock bands, the former being slightly more interesting and stoner-y and the latter being the very definition of "meh". Which means your Thursday party is...

Neon Indian



Who he is: A full band on stage but on record it's just 21-year-old Alan Palombo up there, a dude who already had success with two other projects (Ghosthustler, Vega) before he even started this one which is already on record #2 and playing Coachella... so basically he's the kind of overachiever you just wanna punch in the face...

What he sounds like: Because I loved the way a YouTube commenter described the band Other Lives in my last post, I'll paraphrase him and say it's like Com Truise fucked the Jesus & Mary Chain. Some call it Chillwave, which is definitely one of the stupidest new made-up genre names in a while...

Neon Indian - Suns Irrupt (ysi)

What I think: I like it 'cuz under all the weirdness it's pretty darn catchy. Also I hear they amp it up live and rock the party out. To demonstrate this, here's a sit-down, in-studio performance...



By the way, if you didn't know about KEXP before... find out. In a while, cocodriles...

Blog-achella-geddon 2012!: Jesus Is My DJ

You're gonna think one of two things here... either A) I'm some crabby old curmudgeon who don't like anything or B) the undercard of this year's lineup sucks. I'd vote for the latter, because as you all know, I am full of nothing but love. Most of the time...

But I got no love for this gal EMA, a chick who may have listened to a little bit too much Kate Bush and My Bloody Valentine in her day because her music sounds like a bit of a cross between those two. If that combo sounds good to you, go for it...

I've got a limted amount of love for The Midnight Beast, a group of British kids who want to be Lonely Island, but just aren't funny enough yet. But give 'em time. I'll throw something up on the Facebook page for ya...

I believe that British band Wolf Gang missed the memo that having "Wolf" in your band name is so 3 years ago. But I will give them credit for one thing... I never knew Brit-Rock could sound this gay... (it's the vocals)...

Just by looking at the name R3hab you can feel that something douche-y this way comes, no? You'd be right. This guy seems like a junior varsity Afrojack/Guetta. That's not a compliment. I'm gonna take it easy on this dude, but just you wait...

Band Of Skulls are a "meh" Indie Rock band...

You might think that I should be into this band Other Lives, as they're Radiohead's latest opening act... but Radiohead, love 'em as I do, make some dodgy decisions on opening acts. I mean, they had fucking Deerhoof at one point. Yikes. I just pretend it never happened. But a YouTube commenter described Other Lives quite brilliantly: "It's like Interpol fucked The National". And, you know, one of the mottos of Blog-achella has always been "fuck Interpol". So there you have it...

GIVERS lose one point for having their band names in all caps and 10,000 points for being a shitty Arcade Fire clone...

Feed Me go the extra mile and make both Fidget House and Brostep bollocks so that they may be equally hated by everyone. Seriously, the songs are so generic I'm convinced they're made on some 99 cent iPhone app...

And Atari Teenage Riot is, quite simply, one of the worst acts in the history of recorded music. I'm not even trying to be funny when I say that.

So after all that hate we end up at...

Breakbot



Who he is: A French dude that looks like Jesus. Bummer. I thought he was going to be a robot. Robots are fucking cool...

What he sounds like: Gay Frenchie Disco. Which, looking most of the other DJ-related fare here, is going to be one of your few respites from the glowstick Fidget house. SO SAVOR IT!

Breakbot - Fantasy (ysi)

What I think: Seriously, this guy seems to be the only dance music with any funk in that I can see. I'm not saying some of the other stuff isn't going to be good (because, well, Modeselektor for one) but... yeah, when did House music lose the funk? I BLAME GUETTA! Anyhoo, here's a gripping video of a dude spinning records...



Jesus is my DJ...

R.I.P. Etta James

Etta James - Baby What You Want Me To Do (Live) (ysi)

Blog-achella-geddon 2012!: X Marks The Pop Star

So that whole Internet blackout thing was pretty successful yesterday, sounds like. I'm pretty happy about that... 'cuz I don't want my shit shut down, yo! I'M PROVIDING A PUBLIC SERVICE HERE, DAMMIT! Making the world a better place and shit. You're welcome, humanity. Now back to the show, and I don't even have to skip anyone today...

Ximena Sariñana



Who she is: A successful Mexican singer/songwriter (I'd call Grammy nominations successful, no matter what you think of them... and I don't think much. But it certainly infers a modicum of success, no?) who has moved to L.A. and decided to become an English language Pop star.

What she sounds like: Better than a hell of a lot of the Pop I'm hearing these days, and I'm quite familiar with the Billboard charts due to my Chelsea Lately warm-up DJ gig, wherein I dutifully peddle Chart Pop dross to the masses. There's not a ton of Latin influence in the sound, but then when you see that her main collaborator on this record is the dude from The Bird & The Bee (who know their way around a Pop hook quite well indeed), I guess that's not as surprising. The obviously girl's going for the big crossover score...

Ximena Sariñana - Echo Park (ysi)

What I think: This is totally working for me. I may be Mr. Underground & Obscure most of the time but I can't deny a great Pop hook and this gal's got plenty of 'em. Her voice may be a little rough around the edges, but I can deal with it. Besides, she even rocks her own laptop. I don't see any of those other Pop bitches doin' that. YOUR MOVE, BEYONCE! Actually I bring Beyonce up for a reason, because according to this article, Ximena was actually smart enough to tell Diplo (the man largley responsible for a Beyonce's just absolutely monumentally shitty latest album from what I understand) to go fuck himself. This girl's goin' places, I tells ya...



You can also check out some Ximena bonus content at the Tonegents Facebook page. I'll be posting a lot of extra bits there throught this thing. Word...

Blog-achella-geddon 2012!

THE PUBLIC HAS SPOKEN! Okay, it was a very, very small percentage of the public, but still... they want some Blog-achella and who am I to deny them? Of course, my statement of how I was so very likely to actually go to Coachella this year was shot down in approximately four hours (the time it took both weekends to sell out, holy shitballs), but as they say in my business, THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

(You know, actually I've been in "show business" for almost COUGH years now and I've never actually heard anyone say that. Myth busted!)

But anyhoo, We start at the bottom of Friday's lineup, as we always do... it's a tradition unlike any other. SUCK ON THAT, THE MASTERS!

And this year it all starts off with L.A. Riots, who are some Fidget House guys. As the first act of the year, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt... if not for the atrocity they committed in remixing The Ting Ting's "That's Not My Name". You'd think it would be pretty hard to fuck up that song but they managed to pull it off. Go listen to it on their Myspace (hehe... I said "Myspace") if you don't believe me. It's dreadful. So they get NOTHING BUT SCORN!

The Sheepdogs are a Canadian band that, while inoffensive, kinda sound a little bit like Classic Rock Karaoke. There ain't a riff you haven't heard before. Meh...

From Canada all the way down to Mexico we go for Hello Seahorse!, who lose points for having a superfluous exclamation point in their name. The sound is kind of interesting... like Mexican version of some of your favorite Canadian Alt-Pop bands (New Pornographers and the like)...

From Mexico to just north of Mexico and honeyhoney who lose points for not having any capital letters in their name. MY RULES! The sound is a Southwest country vibe that once again is inoffensive but unexciting...

And The Dear Hunter = the sound of if Oingo Boingo sucked. The first truly dreadful act of the year...

Well... that's a lot hate to start this thing off with, but I didn't book this dog & pony show, did I? If I did, you'd see two words at the bottom of that Friday lineup. Wang and Chung. Just sayin'. But things being as they are, Blog-achella-geddon 2012! (this exclamation point is not superfluous, fyi) begins with...

Kendrick Lamar



Who he is: A rapper straight outta Compton, who has even come under the wing of Dr. Dre lately. Can't get more steez-ier than that...

What he sounds like: Not a heck of a lot like Dr. Dre or Snoop or the sound you normally associate with Compton. For me, most of the time Hip-Hop is about the beats and this guy has some groovy, melancholy production as is the style of the day (as you will see from upcoming posts by folks like Frank Ocean and The Weeknd) and I'm feelin' it...

Kendrick Lamar - A.D.H.D. (ysi)

What I think: I've found the first act worthy of inclusion in my iTunes of the year, which is one of the main reasons I do this. I'm always down for some good new Hip-Hop... it seems to be harder than ever to find these days. I can't seem to tune any in on my Victorola. Gotta get that thing fixed. And now we finish this post in the Blog-achella tradition, with a live clip. This one looks to be a little shouty with the hype men, but honestly I don't expect much else from Hip-Hop shows, The Roots being the supreme exception. Peep it...



Not bad. We'll see. Get the mixtapes though, for sure. It'll be interesting to see what comes from this dude's alliance with Dre. If nothing else, I imagine it'll give Dre yet another excuse to not release Detox. We shall see...

And with that, Blog-achella-geddon 2012! is underway... just when I got out, YOU PULLED ME BACK IN!

Bumpin' on the Beltway

Sometimes you find the funk in the most unlikely places... like Alexandria, Virginia...



As you all know, I'm not one to cut and paste shit from other sources unless I am feeling particularly lazy or unless said other source really nails it. Well, whoever wrote this on the All Good Funk Alliance Facebook page pretty much nailed it...

"All Good Funk Alliance are to funky Breaks what Inland Knights are to funky House. The kinda-under-the-radar guys who are both prolific and consistently awesome. Like the Knights, these dudes simply do not put out a bad track."

Couldn't have put it better myself. And as a matter of fact, I didn't...

All Good Funk Alliance - Get The Pieces

Somebody hosed all my bandwidth overnight, so you're going to have to deal with the ugly-ass Goear player for a few posts. Life's a bitch, innit?

Decision 2012

So the Coachella lineup is out and looking adequately un-shitty, which raises a bit of a dilemma for moi. Do I press on with the Blog-achella tradition or just let it go softly into that good night? I ask because it became pretty obvious last year that I don't have time to do it properly... is Half-Assa-Blog-achella good enough for you, fine reader? Let me know, because the ironic thing is that I'm more likely to go this year than I have been in a long time. Stars aligning and whatnot... so it is in your hands. Really. Leave a comment...

So, while we wait to see how that goes...



Here's some funk on an Ethio-tip from Karl Hector & The Malcouns. Dig it...

Karl Hector + The Malcouns - Following Path (ysi)

What to do, what to do...

The smoking lamp is lit

That's some old sailor jargon, from what my dad tells me. Tonegents = edutainment at it's finest!



We return once again to the L.A. beat scene today, this time with Mr. Ras G, one of the more out-there producers of the whole deal. This dude is on some Sun Ra shit in case you couldn't guess from the title of the record. It's a very weird listen, this record... but it makes more sense with some huge bowls of super sticky dank bud small, controlled doses medical marijuana legally procured to treat a valid physical ailment. Or so I've heard...

Ras G & The Alkebulan Space Program - Ancestrial Echoes (ysi)

... but I'm pretty sure that's exactly what Ras intended, so he probably won't be mad at me for sayin' it. Fire it up, yo...

Happy Fuckin' New Year

Well folks, 2011 has come and gone and good fucking riddance. Worst. Year. Ever. And not just because Kim Kardashian's marriage didn't last. I joke, but I'm crying on the inside... anyhoo...



I'm not going to bother trying to do a "Best of 2011" series of posts this year, as last year that project became a big DMCA clusterfuck. So fuck that shit. That said, here's a track from one of my fave records of the last quarter of '11... and it's probably a fave because it's moody as fuck. Have I used the word "fuck" enough in this post yet? I have? Okay then, just enjoy this little slice o' depression from Manchester's Holy Other...

Holy Other - With U (ysi)

Fuck yeah...

Hullabaloo 3 Repost Redux

We're only a couple days away, so just in case you missed it the first time... here is the only Christmas mix 100% GUARANTEED to make your relatives all like "WTF?!?!?" when you put it on. And you know you wanna see that. So once again... enjoy! And here's a sneak preview posted for no other reason than to get this post on Hype Machine... although you'll enjoy having this separately for your own future mixtape purposes, no doubt...

Shawn Lee - I'll Be F**king You This Christmas (ysi)

And now, faithfully copied and pasted translated from the original manuscript...

Ho Ho Ho, Pimps and Hoes!

Hey, is that reindeer shit on the ground? It is? Well then, it must be that time of the year... time for the quasi-annual Happy Holiday Hullabaloo, the most popular Christmas mix series since "Conrad Murray's Merry Mixtapes". NOT for the kiddies...

Hullabaloo 3: Toys For You/Coal For Me by Tonegent on Mixcloud

High Quality 320 kps download avaialable here. OWN IT FOREVER, LIKE A COLLECTIBLE PLATE!

Actually, if you'd like the whole set of plates (i.e. Volumes 1 & 2), there are links available at the Tonegents Facebook page. All I ask for is a "Like" in return... although I am also accepting milk & cookies...

Happy Holidays!

Bearish on Beats

If I have any readers left after the ass-wiping revelations discussed in my last post, this one's for you...



This might just be one of the best early morning House records I've heard in a good long minute... and I have (for what it's worth) heard a lot of House records in the early morning. It comes German producer Gabor Schablitzki who, luckily for us, decided to go by the far-easier-to-spell handle Robag Wruhme. As you can tell I meant that sarcastically. Germans and their stupid German words. I just got this German Beer the other day that's name was like one 36-letter word. The fuck? Anyhoo, the only other salient point I can think of about Mr. Robag is that from the looks of his headshot, I'm going to guess his favorite animal is the bear, if you know what I mean... merely and observation, mind you...

Robag Wruhme - Donnerkuppel (ysi)

Hmm... is that all for now? I think that's all for now. Good day...

Not terribly ambidexterous...

So it's been pretty hard getting blog posts done the last couple of weeks... since I squashed the middle finger of my left hand in my car door like a damn idiot. Now, don't call off work or anything... I'm okay. But it's been pretty wild seeing just how hard it is getting by on just one hand. You don't even realize what you do with a certain hand until you can't, ya dig? What I'm trying to get at, and what I only share here because I know no one reads this is this... the horrifying discovery that I cannot, for the life of me, properly wipe my ass with my right hand. I mean, normally I am a tidy, efficient wiper... but trying to do it with my right hand, you'd think I'd just been potty trained or perhaps even had a touch of the palsy. Especially shocking since I'M FREAKING RIGHT HANDED. Paradigm shifted...



Not that any of that has anything to do with today's song. It's by Dub Syndicate, one of the many projects of famed Dub practitioner Adrian Sherwood... this one came out when I was in college and I fell quite in love with it for the Jim Morrison samples, which is the kind of thing that white college kids do...

Dub Syndicate - Stoned Immaculate (ysi)

Okay, I'm gonna be late for wiping practice. Toodles...