Dyne-amo!

You may have noticed lately how I've been in a bit of a hurry to cram in some of my favorite leftfield sounds of the year before it's over. That trend continues... now.



So, I dunno where this Julien Dyne cat came from, but... well, actually it's New Zealand, but you know what I mean... but I am feelin' this record...

Julien Dyne - Incredulous (ysi)

And here we have Mr. Dyne and some cronies jamming out on another one...



Nice shitty camera work there, eh? 'Til tomorrow...

Shibuya Sounds

Woo-hoo, it's "Hump Day". Everybody go hump something. NOT your cat...



You are quite likely to find Dutch producer Nicolay's new record in year-end lists of the best in Hip-Hop (I know I have)... which is incredibly wrong. Not because this isn't a good album, but it's nowhere near Hip-Hop, despite the fact that Nicolay, you know, does Hip-Hop. It's actually really hard to slap a genre on this one... it's a whole concept album thingy that touches on everything from Broken Beats to J-Pop to Jazzy to House to you name it. So, I guess the point of all this is that year-end lists are completely fucking meaningless. That's why I don't do 'em. Anyhoo, one track will not do it justice, it's really a piece that demands to be listened to all the way through... but one track is all you get, because suck it...

Nicolay - Meiji Shrine (ysi)

And yes, Meiji Shrine is an extremely cool real place. Dang, I want to go to Japan. Any of you wanna sport me a ticket?

Sell out? Yes, please!

Today's act is probably one of your best all-time examples of how "selling out" is, in fact, a fantastic idea...



... although Alabama 3 claim on their website that the use of their song "Woke Up This Morning" as the theme song for The Sopranos "...bought someone a swimming pool, but it sure wasn't any of us..." Now, I find this kinda hard to believe... unless, of course, they were a bunch of idiots and signed a bad deal. They wouldn't be the first. But either way, the fact that they even have a website (and more importantly a continuing career) probably has a lot to do with James Gandolfini and his paisans, don't ya think? Even so, I didn't even know they were still a going concern until today, and well... good for them...

Alabama 3 - U Don't Dance 2 Tekno Anymore (ysi)

From the title of the song, you'd think it might be about a retired raver such as myself, but it's actually far more depressing than that... apparently she don't dance 2 tekno anymore because... she dropped dead while dancing to tekno... from teh drugz... so good times...

Humperdinck in da House!

Sorry I missed House Music Friday last week. I was, um... meeting with Gloria Allred to figure out just how much hush money I can get out of Tiger Woods. I'm sure you understand. So... you think you can handle the House on Monday?



There is nothing, nada, and also jack shit out there for info on this Arif Vega person, so I'm just going to assume it's an alias for Englebert Humperdinck, whom I've always heard is a closet House head. Smokin' Beats, however, is in fact a real record label that's been around for a while, and although this is my first record from them, I think I may look into their output a bit more deeply. Because... not bad...

Arif Vega - I Wanna Be (Smokin' Beats Funk Dub) (ysi)

Nice work, Englebert. You sexy bitch, you...



AM I RIGHT, LADIES!?!?

You can hang any time

Contemporary Jazz that doesn't suck, and also doesn't come from Japan? Geddafuckouttahere...



... but I've said that before. After over 700 posts, I know that I repeat myself sometimes, which I suppose is natural... as I have very few original ideas and the ones I do have tend to be rather underwhelming. Unlike this new record from Britain's Portico Quartet, which is quite, um... whelming... indeed. Holy shitty segue, Batman. See what I mean? You try to be pithy and entertaining five days a week. Anyhoo, really good record. Atmospheric, dark, and a bit funky. And they use this thing called a hang which is some sort of tuned percussion instrument that looks like a couple of woks thrown together and sounds pretty cool. It's that thing at the beginning of this song that it's hard to tell what it is. Well, it's a hang, so impress your friends with that info, if that's the kind of info that impresses your friends...

Portico Quartet - Dawn Patrol (ysi)

Album of the year contender. And hey, wanna see the hang in action? OF COURSE YOU DO!



I also like the baby saxomaphone. Much cooler than the regular soprano that looks like a clarinet, if you ask me... and you were going to, I know you were...

Tiger Woods Gay Sex Tape... with Animals, Too?

Today's post title, well let's just call it a little experiment and move on...



Afro-Mystik is (was? is?) a project from Om Records head honcho DJ Fluid and your ever-popular rotating cast of characters... and for me is most note-worthy in that it was (is? was?) one of the few acts from this side of the pond that really does (did? does?) the Broken Beat thing. And yeah, I'm not exactly sure if they're still doing it. How could you tell?

Afro-Mystik - Natural

I also didn't realize DJ Fluid was the head of Om. I thought it was just some sort of mysterious cabal of some kind. Mysterious cabals are cool...

Hullaballo Redux-a-roo

Ho ho ho, pimps and hoes! So, I really wanted to do a new Holiday mix for you this year, but the 'asploded nature of my iTunes would make it way too hard... besides, this shit is a stone cold classic that could not be improved upon, ever, even by the powers of Jeebus and Santa combined. Huzzah!

Tonegent presents "The Happy Holiday Hullabaloo"

(Continuous Mix - 72:16 - 99.25Mb @ 192kps)

1) Mr. Mackey - Carol of the Bells
2) Dean Martin - Jingle Bells (Dan The Automator Remix)
3) Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra - O Come All Ye Faithful
4) Count Sidney - Soul Christmas
5) Clarence Carter - Backdoor Santa
6) Rufus Thomas - I'll Be Your Santa, Baby
7) Run-DMC - Christmas In Hollis
8) Kurtis Blow - Christmas Rappin'
9) Mr. Garrison - Merry Fucking Christmas
10) A plus D - Give Da Jew Girl Toys (Sarah Silverman)
11) DJ John - The Christmas Massacre of Charlie Brown
12) Mojochronic - Yuletide Zeppelin
13) Freddie McGregor - Irie Christmas
14) Poncho Sanchez - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
15) Wham! - Last Christmas
16) Members Only - Christmas Eve
17) Stephanie Cooke - It's Xmas
18) Nathan Fake - Silent Night
19) Mel Torme - The Christmas Song (Sonny J Remix)


Enjoy!

Big numbers

Which number is greater... the number of "trip-hop" albums released in the late '90s or the number of hoes in different area codes on the speed dial of Tiger Woods? Well, we can't be sure just yet, but here's what we know...



There were approximately 1,462,985 "trip-hop" albums released that followed the tried and true formula of girl singer + knob twiddler(s), and this is undoubtedly one of them. About 682,254 of these albums touched on Drum & Bass vibes and this is also one of those. I guess the point is there's a lot of this stuff out there, but how much of it holds up now? Certainly not all of it, but this Baxter record still sounds pretty good. The singing girl, Nina Ramsby, also had a pretty good little Indie Rock band called Salt, and although the knob-twiddling guys don't seem to have done much past this project, they did a pretty good job of keeping it not boring (although you'll hear a verrrry noticeable section here that sounds ripped directly from Hoovercheebahead). Now, every one of these types of albums had one track on it where the knob twiddlers got to step forward and show how tough they were when they didn't have to make sissy beats for girls to sing over... here is Baxter's...

Baxter - So Much I've Heard (ysi)

So, going back to our opening questions... Tiger's only at 9 now but give it some more time...



That could only have been better if they'd hired Nate Dogg...

H is for Half-assed

House Music Friday today once again celebrates lack of effort, the true American way...



JT Donaldson is a House guy that's been around for quite some time making House tunes for all the House heads. Here's one of them...

JT Donaldson - News (ysi)

So yeah. Have a great weekend!

Really? No, seriously... really?

So... I see this morning that The Crystal Method has been nominated for a Grammy for "Best Electronic Album". Wow. Fuck the Grammys right in the face...



But you knew that. So moving on, here's an electronic album from 2009 that actually is one of the best I've heard. Lusine is the name. Get to know it. If you need to forget The Crystal Method ever even existed to make the room, go on ahead...

Lusine - Gravity (ysi)

That sure was purdy. Okay, back to re-negotiating Elin's pre-nup...

Black Heat and Sexual Chocolate

... because no one could possibly land on this site whilst looking for, um... shall we say, something else on Google...



With the possible exception of Sexual Chocolate, Black Heat might just be the best name for a Funk band ever. And if you've taken a name that good for your band, you better not suck. If you give your band a good name and you suck, you should have to give that name back. Shitty bands should have shitty names. Like Deerhoof. They did it right! Black Heat, luckily for them, did it right, too...

Black Heat - Check It All Out (ysi)

Also, this song is proof that the economy doesn't just suck now... it always sucks for somebody. And that's okay, because it generally makes for good music. Hello, the Blues! People get too happy and you end up with shit like "Don't Worry, Be Happy" or "The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades"... music which, ironically, makes you want to kill yourself... and since I don't really have anything to tie all this together, ladies and gentlemen... give it up for Sexual Chocolate...



Sexual Chocolate!