Blog-achella 08: Scandinavian Leather!

Good Monday to you... if such a thing existed... anyhoo, next on the list of bands is Scars On Broadway, but since they are a System Of A Down side project, and I've already told Serj Tankian to suck it, they can suck it too... and suck it hard. Moving on...

Turbonegro



Who they are: A bunch of Norwegian self-described deviants.

What they sound like: Straight ahead Punk with a sick, twisted, disgusting, homo-erotic sense of humor...

Turbonegro - Turbonegro Must Be Destroyed (ysi)

What I think: You know, I got zero problem with this. It's simple, it's funny, it makes me wanna punch something in a strangely non-angry yet totally fulfilling way. And that's what Punk Rock is about... well, that and tight pants, but I'm not so much into those... my boys like to breathe! Okay, I've said to much...

Blog-achella 08: Gettin' odd in here

And now let's finish off the week, shall we?

Islands



Who they are: A band from Montreal that actually has Asians in it! A rock band with Asians in it! Well, now I've seen everything... :P

What they sound like: Spacey Indie rock with keyboards... and I'm not just saying "spacey" because of the outfits they're wearing in that photo. Really, I thought of that before I even found the photo... I did!

Islands - Where There's A Will, There's A Whalebone (ysi)

What I think: They're just a little bit to weird to really work for me... I mean that song is actually pretty good there until that weird-ass rapping starts... WTF is that? I'll take a pass on this one...

Have a great weekend!

Blog-achella 08: Get yr glowstick on

Before the music, I must point you to the latest, greatest, mindless-yet-addicting flash game on the internet... get ready for Barack, Paper, Scissors!

Moving on...

Above & Beyond



Who they are: Two Brits, One Scandinavian... which is still better than 2 Girls, 1 Cup.

What they sound like: Trancetrancetrancetrancetrancetrancetrancetrance

Above & Beyond vs. Andy Moor - Air For Life (Markus Schultz Big Room Reconstruction (ysi)

What I think:

Blog-achella 08: You got your Metal in my Trance!

We've had a nice little run of good music here lately, haven't we? Well, all good things must come to an end...

Enter Shikari



Who they are: A British band who seemed to have just earned themselves 7 years of bad luck, if that photo is to be believed.

What they sound like: These guys have a novel sound, a combination of... get ready for it... Heavy Metal and Trance!



Whaaaaaaa?


You heard me! And just in case you were wondering, that is exactly as horrible as it sounds...

Enter Shikari - OK, Time For Plan B (ysi)

What I think: You know how Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are "two great tastes that go together"? Chocolate and peanut butter, yum! Well if this music was a Reese's, it's two tastes would be bat guano and battery acid. Not so yum. Avoid!

Blog-achella 08: Oh yes again it's fun time...

Continuing a Coachella Saturday that contains an embarrassment of riches for the kids who like to dance...

Calvin Harris



Who he is: A young Scottish producer who more-or-less went from being on the dole to being Mr. Hot Shit in the space of a year. Kudos, sir!

What he sounds like: While the title of his album is I Created Disco, I saw someone somewhere call it Poppy Electro/Disco, and that pretty much says it all...

Calvin Harris - Merrymaking At My Place (ysi)

What I think: It seems to me that just about every year, there is a more "poppy" dance act, playing one of the smaller tents, that ends up being the unexpected highlight of my day... I especially recall Junior Senior a couple years back... the acts that are not so much for the headz but for the folks who just wanna have some fun and shake their shit around without having two thousand crazy-eyed, sweaty, shirtless Sahara tent pill-monkeys to avoid. Lemme tell you, one of those guys so much as brushes against you, you're throwin' your shirt out as soon as humanly possible. This year, I think Calvin Harris might just be that act...

Blog-achella 08: Noisy Boy

Hey, more French House, but this time with a twist!

Boys Noize



Who he is: A German dude named Alex. He enjoys lederhosen, schnitzengruben and Fahrfugnugen.

What he sounds like: He seemingly follows the current French Electro-house pattern. "But wait, Tone! I thought you said he was German! Yer twistin' my melon, man!"... I know, it's crazy. Actually, though, he does branch out into some different sounds on some of the excellent remixes he's put out, most notably for Feist and Snoop Dogg(!)... check those out, but here's one of his own...

Boys Noize - & Down (ysi)

What I think: Same thing I've said about every one of these acts. What? You want me to keep repeating myself?

Blog-achella 08: The Dapper Dutchman

Today's turnin' out to be a good day at Blog-achella...

Junkie XL



Who he is: He's Dutch, his name is Tom, he looks very snappy in a tie and beret. He likes sushi, Belgian Ales and long walks in De Wallen... where he only partakes in the finest Asian prostitutes.

What he sounds like: I've always kinda thought of him as a poor man's Fatboy Slim, which isn't a slam... well, not a bad one anyway...

Junkie XL - Booming Right At You (ysi)

What I think: I remember seeing a video of him performing at the Ultra Music Festival a few years back and thinking, "huh, he's a bit better than I thought he'd be", which isn't necessarily a slam either. Well, here... see for yourself...



I'll definitely peep him if he's not up against one of the big, must-see acts (although I fear he will be), and so should you, suckaz.

Blog-achella 08: This is the good shit!

I gotta tell you, all the futzing about being done with the line-up this year is starting to piss me off. The day after I post about Jamie T, he cancels! WTF?!?! Don't be wastin' my time, bee-yatch! Anyhoo...

The Cinematic Orchestra



Who they are: The brainchild of Jason Swinscoe, and no, I have no idea which one of those guys he is, so don't even ask.

What they sound like: They sound like awesome. Easily one of the best new Jazz acts in the world and absolutely mind-blowing live. Don't believe me? Have a listen...

The Cinematic Orchestra - Child Song (ysi)

Plus some bonus YouTubes lovin...



What I think: I might be more excited to see these guys play than I am to see anyone outside of Portishead. They never come to the States. This one will melt your brain, folks, and you can take that recommendation to the bank!

(What exactly you'd do with a Coachella band recommendation at the bank, I'm not really sure, but hey, I didn't create the saying... so back off!)

Blog-achella 08: That's bollocks, innit mate?

Hey all, gonna try to get this thang back rollin'... been a lot going on in Tonegent-Town lately... it's fuckin' up my flow, yo!

Jamie T



Who he is: Some British dude, the kind that's HUGE over there and absolutely unknown over here... which usually means he's like, you know, British as fuck.

What he sounds like: British as fuck... aka kinda like The Streets, but sometimes he just does an acoustic guitar thing, too. But this one sounds kinda like The Streets...

Jamie T - Sheila (ysi)

What I think: This guy seems like the kind of artist you either like or don't on a song-by-song basis... so do you wanna go see a whole set by him? Hmmm.....

Blog-achella 08: I'm a douchebag now... yay!

Huzzah! It took a bit longer than I expected, but I have finally been called a douchebag in the comments by someone who took didn't agree with one of my opinions. Thank you, sir, for now I feel that I have truly touched someone. P.S., your mom's a toothless crackwhore...

The Teenagers



Who they are: A French band including one of my buddy's cousins. Not sure which guy it is though, so I'll make sure not to call any of them ugly, dorky or gay.

What they sound like: Danceable Indie Rock, and is it just me or do I hear a healthy dollop of The Jesus & Mary Chain in there?

The Teenagers - Starlett Johannson (ysi)

What I think: I'll admit that this song is the only one of theirs I've heard (which is the only band so far I can say that about... yeah, right), but I like it. And I'm sure I'll check out their set to support by buddy's cousin. See, I'm not a douchebag at all! Extra points to this song because it gives me a very flimsy reason to post this:



You're welcome!

Blog-achella 08: The Blitz!

Today's Blog-achella Blitz (you like that? I just came up with it. I should be in marketing!) concludes with...

VHS Or Beta



Who they are: Despite their sound, which would immediately say New York or London, they're actually from Louisville, KY of all places. BTW, I have Louisville going to the Final 4. Music and bracket tips? How does anyone live without this blog? :P

What they sound like: These guys seemed to come up with the rest of the first wave of the Indie Dance acts (!!!, The Rapture) and like those two, have shown to have some staying power. How do they do this? By not sucking. Really, it's just that easy. And while they certainly have some dancier tracks to choose from, I'm gonna give you one in which they sound exactly like The Cure...

VHS Or Beta - You Got Me (ysi)

What I think: I've liked these guys since I first heard 'em. I think I'll catch 'em at the big show. You should, too.

Blog-achella 08: Bring out the geezers

There's comes an age when a man's thoughts must turn away from the stage... and towards the golf course, perhaps?

Carbon/Silicon



Who they are: Mick Jones from The Clash, Big Audio Dynamite, etc. and another old guy from some other punk band that was big about 30 years ago.

What they sound like: Now I loves me some Clash, and will admit to owning B.A.D. II and enjoying it, so naturally, I might suspect this was good... but it's not. Mick must be out of ideas, because this is pretty uninteresting, straightforward Rock... but hey, the song title's got the word "fuck" in it, so it's still totally punk rawk, bra!

Carbon/Silicon - What The Fuck (ysi)

What I think: See what I'm sayin'... I woulda totally gone for a Big Audio Dynamite reunion, though. No, really!

Blog-achella 08: In which I'm not nearly funny enough

Back to the Sahara Tent, and this guy's not even French! But will it make a difference?

Erol Alkan



Who he is: London DJ of Turkish descent, and the man responsible for the famous Kylie Minogue/New Order mash-up. You know you've done a good mash-up when both of the mashed artists play it live.

What he sounds like: Well, his own productions range from the mash-ups to some darker and weirder tech-house things (check his remix of Klaxons' "Golden Skans") but seemingly he comes to rock it hard live... to wit, here's a full-ish set for ya (it's a BBC Radio 1 rip, deal with it)...

Erol Alkan Live @ Global Gathering '07

What I think: Although he's not really a part of the French House thing, if you listen to that set, you'll see how he might fit in with all those cats... which is maybe even a bit disappointing. I would hope they'd break up the sound a little bit, throw in a little variety, ya know? Guess we'll see...

Blog-achella 08: Feel the suck!

Not to kill the suspense for the "What I think" portion of the post, but we have a new contender for "Worst Band Playing at Coachella"...

Man Man



Who they are: Let's let Wikipedia do the work, shall we? "a band from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Their musical style has been described as Viking-vaudeville, Manic Gypsy Jazz. Man Man is known for their exuberant live performances. When performing, the members of the band dress in white outfits and wear war paint. The band uses pseudonyms - the frontman is Honus Honus, and its other members are Sergei Sogay, Pow Pow, Critter Crat, and Chang Wang."... oy vey, this does not sound promising...

What they sound like: I got three "S"'s for ya... sloppy, shouty, shitty... here's the song I could find of theirs that came closest to listenable...

Man Man - Top Drawer (ysi)

What I think: You may be surprised that I find this band to be horrible. Further proof that the Indie kids (who, of course, love them) wouldn't know good music if it grabbed them by the balls in a Vulcan Death Grip. I would rather walk naked into a biker bar with a large neon sign saying "Free Joyrides" and a blinking arrow pointing directly at my ass than listen to another Man Man song... and no, I'm not normally into that type of thing...

Blog-achella 08: Gratuitous nudity alert!

Ha. Just when I make a crack about the lack of Hip-Hop at the 'Chella, I come to two straight Hip-Hop groups in a row. Irony is a gangsta, yo!

Yo Majesty



Who they are: Two lovely ladies from Florida, one of which has the incredibly awesome name LaShunda.

What they sound like: It's kinda like Dirty South club Rap (which I hate), but with waaaaaay better backing tracks (which makes me not hate it).

Yo Majesty - Club Action (ysi)

What I think: Would it entice you more if I told you that the more plus-sized of these gals likes to get naked during shows? Come on, I must have a chubby chaser or two amongst my readers... it's okay, I won't judge... anyhoo, this seems like the kind of thing that would be worth checking out a song or two of, or more if them big mammaries is flappin'...

... I'm very sorry for that comment...

... and I just threw up in my mouth a little...

SoCal Playaz!

Here's a group you may not have ever heard of if you live East of the Mississippi...



That's because the B-Side Players are simply a SoCal institution. Okay, SoCal, NoCal and the Southwest, but really that's about it. Coming up out of San Diego, I'd have to say I've seen these guys live at least a dozen times, they were like friends of friends... yeah, you know I love to name-drop. And while they may have never broken big like their peers Ozomatli, those who know know that these cats bring tha Latin Funk fi-yah! Check out this hot jammy, including some Santana-style geetar goodness...

B-Side Players - Conajax (ysi)

Good to see they're still at it... if you ever get a chance, go check 'em out. You'll thank me for it ;)

Blog-achella 08: The next episode

Hey, look! A Hip-Hop act! Coachella still has those?

Little Brother



Who they are: Actually they are two brothas reppin' Durham, North Carolina... which I love because of Bull Durham, but hate more because of Duke Basketball. Suck it, Duke. Suck it hard. I hope Belmont kicks your asses!

What they sound like: Well, here's the big question... because they used to have a 3rd brotha, producer 9th Wonder, and they were pretty darn good at the rap music before. So, has their sound suffered?

Little Brother - Good Clothes (ysi)

What I think: Well, upon listening to this and a few other cuts from their new one... I gotta say yes, the sound has suffered. This production is not up to snuff with what 9th Wonder brought to the table. These jams are sounding a bit too Southern, which in Hip-Hop is kinda synonymous with Suck. But hey, if you want a Hip-Hop fix, have at it!

Blog-achella 08: Wacky Brazilians shouting

Now back to Blog-achella, and some people who (as far as I know) do not celebrate St. Patrick's Day. But then again, they're from Brazil, so they don't really need to manufacture ways to get drunk and have fun... they just do!

Bonde Do Role



Who they are: As I mentioned, they are a band from Brazil... one that was "discovered" by Diplo, the official white-boy champion of Baile Funk.

What they sound like: Ah yes, the Baile Funk. It's kind of like booty-bass music on happy pills. And with lots of yelling in a language I do not understand a word of. In one word... wacky...

Bonde Do Role - Office Boy (ysi)

What I think: Well, the other word I can use to describe the sound is "fun". This is straight up party music and you'd have to be a bit dead inside to not enjoy it in at least small amounts... that amount, of course, being based on just how much shouting in a language you don't understand a word of you can take. I'll be checkin' 'em out, fo sho.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

The Clancy Brothers - Whiskey, You're The Devil (ysi)

Blog-achella 08: The girl with the odd alias

And let's wrap up the week, shall we?

St. Vincent



Who she is: Singer/songwriter from Dallas, real name Annie Clark, who I will try to give a fair listen to despite her allaince with Sufjan Stevens, who can suck it and suck it hard.

What she sounds like: I'm sure the Indie Kids will take offense to this, but it sounds like typical singer/songwriter fare to me...

St. Vincent - Marry Me (ysi)

What I think: ... which isn't necessarily a horrible thing. I've heard much worse than this. I think she's kinda interesting... that said, "meh".

Have a great weekend!

Blog-achella 08: Feelin' kinda beardy

Because beards are for strokin', yo!

Akron/Family



Who they are: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, without doing any research whatsoever, that they are a bunch of dirty hippies.

What they sound like: I think it's most easily summed up as music to kill yourself to veerrrrrrrrrrrry mellow folk.

Akron/Family - Italy (ysi)

What I think: This type of music certainly has it's place, I suppose... I'm seeing some kind of extremely depressing weinie roast under a freeway offramp, but maybe that's just me... it's not exactly what I'm going to Coachella before. Besides, as I've said before, this type of super-quiet stuff tends to get pwned! by the boompboompboomp coming out of the Sahara Tent or by the rawwrararawwwr from the guitars on the Main Stage...

Yay me!

House Music Friday is feeling a bit smug this week...



... because I got a rare remix for ya that has never hit the blog-o-sphere, and I believe that it is written in the Blogger's Code that I'm supposed to feel extra self-satisfied to the point of unbearable obnoxiousness when something like that happens. Anyhoo, the mix in question, off this compilation from Loaded Records, features everyone's favorite Norwegian Pop tart Annie given the work-over by remixers extraordinaire Freeform Five, which is, as they say, the mark of quality...

Annie - Greatest Hit (Freeform Reform Vocal) (ysi)

Yay me! Annie is supposed to have a new one (finally) coming out soon... can't wait for that one!

Blog-achella 08: A note from the management

And now, more French House! Just kidding...

MGMT



Who they are: A duo (why do I so enjoy the word "duo"? Discuss...) from Brooklyn.

What they sound like: Indie Pop w/ keyboards... this one is probably the most dance-y of their songs, the others have a bit more Rock goin' on, but the pop sensibility is strong... which turns out to be a good thing, btw...

MGMT - Electric Feel (ysi)

What I think: This is the kind of band that has the potential to provide fine entertainment during such time slots when nobody you are really dying to see is playing... which is a good thing, btw...

Blog-achella 08: You'll never guess...

Now, for a change of Blog-achella pace... more French House!

Institubes Paris Terror Club



Who they are: They would be Surkin, Para One, Curses and Orgasmic (who don't got no Myspace, so he don't get no link... suck it!).

What they sound like: I think you've got the idea by now. I'm gonna throw up a song by Surkin, who is a young, 20-year-old whippersnapper and probably the biggest name in this group (not that anyone other than avid blog nerds know who any of these people are)...

Surkin - Kiss 'n Horns (ysi)

What I think: I think you've got the idea on this by now, too, since you all religiously read every single word I write... twice. But don't worry, there's still plenty more of these guys left on the bill, giving me plenty more times to repeat myself.

Blog-achella 08: CDJ skillz

Now back to Blog-achella, and I'm gonna have to get off my butt if I want to get this done in time!

James Zabiela



Who he is: British DJ who actually rose to fame after winning one of those magazine "Bedroom DJ" contests... perhaps those things aren't a total crock after all. But more importantly, if you look at that picture, I'm pretty sure he's also in Hanson.

What he sounds like: From what I read, he is lauded for his mix of House and Breaks... wow, no one ever thought of that before, what a visionary! Actually, he also has super mad skillz with the Pioneer CDJs, too, which I won't make a snide remark about... 'cuz maybe if I got off my butt a little more, I could master some of those tricks... Anyhoo, dude's only got a few productions under his belt, so I chose this pretty good Royksopp remix for ya...

Royksopp - Remind Me (James Zabiela Eighties Ingevort Mix) (ysi)

What I think: Might be worth a gander, although I suspect him of cheesiness due to the company he keeps. Anyhoo, here's a YouTubes of him gettin' freaky with the CDJs for you gear dorks out there...



Skillz, indeed!