D.O.A.

"This is anti-autotune, death of the ringtone
This ain’t for iTunes, this ain’t for sing-along
This is Sinatra at the opera, bring a blonde
Preferably with a fat ass who can sing a song"

- Sean Carter

I have, unfortunately, been forced to listen to a large amount of current chart Pop at my job recently and the one thing I've noticed... other than how generally fuckawful it is... and I know this isn't exactly breaking news, but the fucking autotune! Every damn song is using it now and it makes every damn singer sound alike. The only difference between me and Ke$ha is an effects processor... okay, and tits. Me + Effects Processor - Tits = Ke$ha, and I will make you a cover of "Tik Tok" to prove it. Except that I hate that song like poison. Got stuck in my head for like three weeks straight. I almost jumped in front of a bus to end it. Anyhoo, I wonder if the kids these days (who are on MY FUCKING LAWN AGAIN! GET OFF THERE!) would be able to have any appreciation for raw, untreated vocals (here comes the segue) of someone like Alton Ellis. They'd probably be all like, "This guy can't sing at all". Actually, kids, this is what the human voice really sounds like. It's not always perfect. As, a matter of fact, the imperfection is what gives it some soul. Then they'd probably ask me what Soul is and I'd smash them upside the head with something heavy and/or sharp. Dig the Rock Steady sound...

Alton Ellis - Joy In The Morning (ysi)

Nice. And I'm sure that if Alton Ellis were alive today, he'd be thrilled that I spent more of his post quoting Jay-Z and talking about some chick with a fucking dollar sign in her "name" than him... but thems the breaks, pal...