23 April 2007

Blog-achella - Set Times & Recommendations

They're heeee-eeere... the Coachella set times, that is. And even though I won't be attending this little soiree, I still got some set time love for ya. Just do what I say, and you'll be in Fun City all weekend. Defy me and you're in Suck Town!

FRIDAY


(Click for readable view)

2:00 - 2:45: Flosstradamus & Kid Sister (Coachella Stage) - Now, I know that no one ever actually shows up to this thing on time, but I'll start from the beginning of the schedule anyway, cuz that's how I roll, bee-yatch. And while I'm still sitting here in my cave of an office at Extra hating my life, you can be out in the sun catching some good tunes, so you better. These guys are a late add... fun hip-hop/party mix DJ kids, and should lay down some party-starting tunes. Check the links for music samples.

3:00 - 3:45: Brother Ali (Coachella Stage) - Dude, they put the albino out in the hot-ass sun... what a bunch of cacks!

3:45 - 4:30: The Comedians of Comedy (Gobi Tent) - The last 45 minutes of their show will most likely include Patton Oswalt's set, which will be full of hatred and bile... and laughs!

4:30 - 6:00: Go grab a beer and some grub. Seriously, you won't be missing anything.

6:00 - 6:50: Amy Winehouse (Gobi Tent) - From beer to Amy Winehouse = a fitting segue.

6:50 - 7:30: Digitalism (Sahara Tent) - You may notice I'm not allowing for walk time in between the stages. That is because I am assuming you will all have jet packs.

7:30 - 8:15: Peaches (Outdoor Theater) - Probably the best chance for fun in another mediocre time slot. She says "fuck" alot. It's fun to say "fuck". Fuck Fuck Fuck.

8:40 - 9:30: Peeping Tom (Mojave Tent) - Yeah, you could catch the last couple of Jesus & Mary Chain songs after Peaches, but i'm trying to be at least slightly realistic here. Mr. Patton doesn't have much competition in this slot, and should have some surprise guests. You know who doesn't like surprises? Hitler.

9:30 - 10:20: Brazilian Girls (Gobi Tent) - Because you know you want to sing "Pussypussypussy Marijuana" at the top of your lungs. Don't even front like you don't. I also wouldn't hate on anyone for splitting this time slot up between these guys and Faithless... actually that's probably the way to go.

10:45 - End: Bjork (Coachella Stage) - And then they fuck the electronic fans. Bjork, DJ Shadow and Evil Nine all playing at the same time. Fuckers. Bjork wins, of course, but I would be shaking my fist in Goldenvoice's general direction over this one.

Probably one of the weakest single days of Coachella I can think of, but still pretty dang good, because it has Bjork in it. Let's be real though, Friday's just a warm-up day anyway.

----------------------------

SATURDAY


(Click for readable view)

12:45 - 1:20: Fields (Mojave Tent) - 'Cuz ya gotta start somewhere...

1:30 - 2:15: Pharoahe Monch (Coachella Stage) - 'Cuz then ya gotta go somewhere after that, in order to properly work up your thirst.

2:15 - 3:15: Beer. Food. Plenty of it. You're going to be dancing for the next nine hours.

3:15 - 4:10: DJ Heather (Sahara Tent) - Starting with the only boompty-boomp house DJ on the bill. And we all need some boompty-boomp whenever we can get it.

4:10 - 5:00: Hot Chip (Mojave Tent) - Nerd out with the white boys. Dance with a cute girl with glasses.

5:10 - 6:40: MSTRKRFT (Sahara Tent) - The length of this set scares me a bit that it may just be a DJ set, but hopefully maybe it'll be half and half. Either way = bangin'! But hey, you can always bop over it PB&J if it ain't workin' for ya.

6:40 - 7:30: !!! (Mojave Tent) - I might be more impressed with the new !!! album than with anything else I've heard come out this year... just sayin'...

7:30 - 8:10: Ghostface Killah (Outdoor Theater) - You've been in the tents for a while now. Go out and get some air. Some extremely marijuana-heavy air.

8:10 - 9:10: Ozomatli (Mojave Tent) - I think ultimately Justice may just be a little too head-poundy for more than a quick look-see, so go with ol' reliable.

9:30 - 10:10: LCD Soundsystem (Sahara Tent) - Because they are awesome. But, you may notice that I recommend you leave a smidge early, and that is because...

10:00 - 10:45: Gotan Project (Outdoor Theater) - ... these guys under the stars is just too good to pass up on. Pry yourself away from the last couple LCD songs. You'll thank me for it.

11:00 - End: Cornelius (Gobi Tent) - As much as I have been digging The Rapture lately, this dude just feels like a better night-ender to me. Maybe I'm weird. Strike that, I know I'm weird. I just think the trippy visuals will be key, as opposed to looking at yet another group of scruffy dudes in tight pants. Or you could just entertain yourself by going to the big stage and throwing empty water bottles at Tiesto...

And that, my friends is a hell of a day.

---------------------------

SUNDAY


(Click for readable view)

1:30 - 2:10: Kid Beyond (Gobi Tent) - If you can actually make it outta bed and to the show this early on Sunday, a) you are a beast and b) you will be rewarded with some seriously cool beatboxing and live-looping maneuvers.

2:10 - 4:00: Jack shit. You're not getting here before 4 anyways, so no sweat.

4:00 - 4:30: Explosions In The Sky (Coachella Stage) - Too early and too bright out for these guys, but they're worth a look. Then, after this, it's time to run around like a chicken with your head cut off thanks to a scheduling trainwreck...

4:40 - 5:00: Junior Boys (Mojave Tent) - Here's where you meet the cute girl with glasses you danced with at Hot Chip again. You only have 20 minutes though, so make it good.

5:00 - 5:40: Rodrigo y Gabriela (Gobi Tent) - Just too impressive to skip. You just missed all of Soulwax though. D'oh!

5:40 - 6:05: The Roots (Coachella Stage) - And you missed most of The Roots. More fist shaking is in order! But hopefully you've seen 'em many times before and that will ease the pain.

6:05 - 6:55: Kaiser Chiefs (Outdoor Theater) - Over CSS in a close one.

7:10 - 8:00: Klaxons (Mojave Tent) - Maybe mixed with a little Jose Gonzalez... but he's just so darn mellow, I see thumping from elsewhere possibly ruining his vibe a bit (see: Beck a couple years back).

8:35 - 9:25: Air (Outdoor Theater) - No explanation necessary. Although the sun will probably already be down... they should have put them on an hour earlier.

9:40 - 10:30: Happy Mondays (Sahara Tent) - Manu Chao and Teddybears are interesting, but to the Madchester fan in me, this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to get my melon twisted properly.

11:05 - End: Spank Rock (Gobi Tent) - Because Rage can blow me. I don't feel like joining a mosh pit after three straight days of Coachella goodness. Hell, I'm usually barely able to stand up by the end of Sunday...

... he says as if he's actually going. Nope, I'll be home catchin' all the festivities on the simulcast with a cat on my lap. But I expect to hear stories, especially if you dare to follow my advice...

Do you dare?

Do you?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

emm.. 10x for style :))