Blog-achella X: Orbital Will Melt Your Face

What is the single greatest reason to go to Coachella this year? How about the single greatest electronic music act of all time? That good enough for ya?

Orbital



Who they are: The single greatest electronic music act of all time, and if you disagree with that, I will fight you. They are the brothers Hartnoll... Phil is the one in front poncing about like a fairy while Paul is the one in the back doing all the work. These are clearly defined roles and we love them for it...

What they sound like: Like the single greatest electronic music act of all time. There's no point trying to pigeonhole Orbital into any genre, because they've tackled them all and had their way with them all like Tiger Woods with the nation's cocktail waitresses. Hard to pick a single tune, but here's one with Alison Goldfrapp on vocals that's always been a fave, and sometimes they even play it...

Orbital - Sad But True (ysi)

What I think: That they're the single greatest electronic music act of all time, but you probably figured that out by now. Miss them and know that your life will forever be less satisfying than it could have been had you only just followed my advice. Here's a tripleheader of reasons why...







Wouldn't it be cool if Orbital rocked it outdoors big-style? I think it's possible, what with Gorillaz being your main headliner and Richie Hawtin and his fancy-pants production maybe closing the Sahara Tent. After all, the Chemical Brothers rocked the big boy stage once upon a time... I dunno, I can dream. Anyhoo, to finish off this Orbital-palooza, here is what was their very last performance... at least until it wasn't anymore... Fuck. And. Yes.

Blog-achella X: And now, opening for Fork...

It takes a certain chutzpah to name your band after a utensil. Well, maybe not... I just wanted to use the word "chutzpah". Yiddish is fun. Anyhoo...

Spoon



Who they are: If I gotta give love to any Rock band on Sunday's list, it might as well be these Texans.

What they sound like: And they get the nod for having a sound that you can't pin down. Sometimes they straight-ahead gee-tar rock, sometimes they bring in the keys and horn section and funk it up. That's called expanding the old musical palette, and we here at Tonegents approve of such shenanigans whole-heartedly...

Spoon - Got Nuffin (ysi)

What I think: Guess I kind of already told you that, didn't I? No one said this format was perfect. Anyhoo, here's the boys at the Hollywood Bowl, avec horn section...



Will I actually see any of Spoon? Highly unlikely since I imagine they'll be playing toward the end during while I'll be elsewhere catching one of the favorites. But if scheduling permits, why not?

Blog-achella X: Greetings From Mount Funkmore

Question of the day: Which Coachella act would you rather see, a legend a bit past his prime or a poser who's never going to have one...

Sly Stone



Who he is: A legend of Funk, the likes of which there are few left today. Motherfucker played Woodstock, yo!

What he sounds like: Look, I know some of you are quite a bit younger than me, but I'd be pretty shocked if you haven't heard Sly. Not as shocked as I am to hear that Ricky Martin came out of the closet, but pretty dang shocked nonetheless... anyhoo, here's a the set opener... AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK, FRANK!

Sly & The Family Stone - I Want To Take You Higher (ysi)

What I think: Would you turn down a chance to see Stevie Wonder or George Clinton or Prince? Fuck no, you wouldn't... regardless of age or how long it's been since they've had a huge hit. So you can't front on Sly. He's right there on Mount Funkmore with the all those guys. And hey, if he does something batshit crazy... you can say you were there! More likely though, it'll be something like this...



Which, hey, not the most amazing thing I've ever seen, but it's SLY FREAKING STONE! Seriously, if you skip out on this for some shit Indie Band who'll be back stocking the shelves at Target in two years... you're doing it wrong. SO SAY I!!!

Blog-achella X: Hangin' Out With Pos, Hangin' Out With Mase...

I am so pissed that Syracuse lost to Butler last night that I could strangle a hobo... but as they say, the show must go on, so...

I'll have to start off the day by saying that the only Gary Numan song I know is "Cars", which puts me right in line with probably 99.7% of everyone in the world. So I have no idea what his show would entail. I'm thinking they should have a plane fly over the venue pulling a banner saying something like "Gary Numan will be playing "Cars" at exactly 5:20 PM in the Mojave Tent"... that way I can go see what I need to see and move on... perhaps to someone like...

Plastikman aka Richie Hawtin, especially since he's working on what sounds like a pretty nifty live show and my better half and him go way back... but to be honest, his stuff is too minimal to hold my attention for long periods of time...

Julian Casablancas was, of course, in The Strokes... so he can eat a bag of Zesty Nacho Cheese dicks...

And then we have Infected Mushroom, who I thought brought the hippie Trance, but it seems now they've melded it with awful growly singing and bad metal guitar. Actually, "awful" doesn't even begin to describe it... how about ass-blastingy shit-eriffic? Because I like to keep the criticism on a very adult, professional level, ya heard?

ANYHOO!

It's right here that shit starts to get real, real good and we find out exactly why Sunday is the day to go, starting with...

De La Soul



Who they are: De La Soul / From the soul / Black medallions / No gold.

What they sound like: If I need to tell you what De La Soul sounds like, you're probably too young to be reading this blog, what with all the naughty words I use. Now, what song to post? It's kind of hard when you have a consistently solid 20-year career to choose from (and how many Hip-Hop acts can say that?). So I always figure with a group this big it's time to dig deep in the crates for a rarity and I have found just the thing... recalling our recent Talvin Singh post, here are Asian Underground doods Badmarsh + Shri puttin' the Vindaloo to an oldie but goodie... I'm bettin' you haven't heard De La sound quite like this before...

De La Soul - Me, Myself & I (Badmarsh + Shri Remix) (ysi)

What I think: I saw De La only once, at the Hollywood Bowl, and I'm gonna admit... it wasn't great. But that's just one show, and it's freakin' De La Soul, and I'm there...



Now to just figure out what to do with my weekend now that the NCAA Tournament is dead to me...

Blog-achella X: People I Hate, and Some I Don't

Yep, this post has the ying and the yang, the flim and the flam. You can get with this, or you can hate on that...

Matt & Kim are a boy/girl group that, to me, sound like if The Kills were transplanted to the '80s. Except that description sounds way better than they actually are. So... "meh" then...

Deerhunter and Mutemath are a couple more beardy Indie Rock bands that I don't give a shit about, so I will put no effort into their description...

I think we're all supposed to like Yo La Tengo, but they're one of those bands that I've always heard of yet hardly ever actually heard. So they can't be all that great, can they? I would have at least one or two of their songs in my memory banks, wouldn't I? But nope...

Jonsi is one of the elves from Sigur Ros, one of two bands I've seen at Coachella that were so awful live (after I was psyched to see them) that I formed an irrational yet eternal hatred for them... the other being The White Stripes. So despite the fact that the music seems okay and the visuals are supposed to be quite cool and elaborate, he can suck it hard...

And then Club 75 is that new titty place that opened up on Sepulveda, right? Just kidding. Ha. Ha. Ha. Actually it's a big bunch of Ed Banger doods, namely Busy P, DJ Mehdi, (some dood from) Justice and (some dood from) Cassius. I imagine they might be bogarting the Sahara Tent for a while, so go git yer fidget on...

Also French, but less fidgety and recommended for your viewing pleasure in more ways than one is...

Charlotte Gainsbourg



Who she is: The daughter of famous French singer/perv Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin, the underage gal he perved on. If you don't know what I'm talking about, feel free to Google it. You'll discover yet more good music.

What she sounds like: When she's not bashing William Dafoe's junk into a bloody mess in awful Lars Von Trier films (talk about someone I have an eternal hatred for) she's making Pop records. Very French Pop. Bare bones one moment, all orchestral and shit the next. Ethereal vocals. Nice...

Charlotte Gainsbourg - Le Chat Du Cafe Des Artistes (ysi)

What I think: I think there's a near 100% chance Beck shows up at some point in this set because A) Beck always shows up to cameo with someone and B) He produced this album. Most likely B, like so...



So you can get with this, 'cuz this is kinda phat...

Blog-achella X: This is not a gay band.

Between Syracuse's dominating victory over Gonzaga and Obama's utter posterization of the Republican Party, I gotta say it's been a pretty satisfying weekend. And today's band will not take away from that...

The Big Pink



Who they are: A British duo of which one of whom seems to have misplaced his pants. Now, never having heard of these guys before now, and with a name like that, my hopes were not high... but a funny thing happened on the way to the snarky blog post...

What they sound like: ... as these guys have a sound very reminiscent of Jesus & Mary Chain circa Honey's Dead, which was, as you know, a fucking killer record...

The Big Pink - Frisk (ysi)

What I think: The old shoegazer in me approves. I bet they even have a little My Bloody Valentine-style distortion face-melt or two in 'em. Not so much on this French TV show, but still...



Nice choice of drummer as well, boys... and Go Orange!

Blog-achella X: Close But No Cigar

Today, we have a few bands that allllllmost do it for me, but just fall short... which means I'll probably be catching at least a little bit of some of them...

Little Boots is kind of like if Tiesto Van OakenBerg came up with a Pop group in that what would probably be pretty decent and catchy Pop gets weighed down way too hard by cheesy Prog House synth sounds. Pity, because the girl's got some decent hooks...

Yann Tiersen is a French dude who apparently scored the movie Amelie, which I would probably think was pretty impressive had I actually seen it (I know, I know)... but the music on his "non-composer" Myspace is some relatively "meh" acoustic stuff and remember, acoustic acts suck at Coachella... especially if they're anywhere near where anyone else is playing loud music. I'M NOT JUST BEING STINKY HERE, PEOPLE! REMEMBER THIS!

I'm kinda torn on Florence & The Machine as well ... the girl has pretty damn amazing voice, but the music itself is a bit... overwraught, let's say... Bat For Lashes with more bombast... hmmmm...

King Khan & The Shrines are interesting... they sound like some sort of fuzzed-out garage band worshipping at the altar of Little Richard... which is interesting on the surface but wears on me after a bit. One of those acts that you catch for a couple of songs whilst walking from point A to point B, nod in general appreciation and then move on with your curiousity satisfied...

Miike Snow is this Swedish Electro-Pop band that the kids are all wild about these days, but they feel to me like another "drop in for a couple of songs and move along" band... I really wanted to be all into it, but listening through the album, it only grabs me for little bits here and there...

So let's go with...

B.o.B.



Who he is: A new, young singer/rapper from the A.T.L.

What he sounds like: There's not a whole lot out there to go on just yet... his debut album hasn't even, as the kids say, dropped... but what I have heard reminds me more than a little bit of Andre 3000, which is certainly not a bad thing...

B.o.B - I'll Be In The Sky (ysi)

(This one seems to be a pre-album freebie of some kind, so enjoy guilt free.)

What I think: Color me intrigued, but mark it down as must-see if you're a Hip-Hop fan because you got this guy and De La and that's it...



One month from today, folks. Just paid for my hotel room... Buzzzzzzzzzz....

Blog-achella X: Singh For Your Supper

Since I'm a little shaken up after barely surviving a run-in with Jay Leno's chin last night, I'll get right to it...

Talvin Singh



Who he is: The master of the tabla and sometime tech support person for Time Warner Cable... get it? I know. I suck.

What he sounds like: He was one of the founders of the whole Asian Underground movement in which traditional Indian sounds were mixed with electronica. Lots of Drum & Bass in his work, but not exclusively. To wit...

Talvin Singh - Sway Of The Verses (ysi)

What I think: I loves me some tabla and I loves me some sitar and I loves me some Chicken Tikka Masala, you know I'm all over this. But strangely, Talvin Singh gets very little love on the YouTubes. Here's the only decent thing I could find... it's him with Eric Truffaz and Murcof doing some awesome shit...



... which is NOT what you will see at Coachella. But I bet what you will see will be as good...

Blog-achella X: Back to Back!

Hey look! I'm posting for the second day in a row! How 'bout them apples?

The Glitch Mob are mostly a remix unit and sound like a downtempo version of Fidget House... meaning they use the same five synth sounds and get just as annoying just as quickly. Also, I saw a short video of their live show... four guys squashed into a DJ booth acting like "OMFG WE ARE RIPPING IT SO FUCKIN' HARD RIGHT NOW, YEEEEAHHHRGH!!!" Pssst... actually, no. Not so much... I leave this one to the kiddies...

But they sound like Mozart compared to this Owen Pallet dude. I'm not even sure how to describe it. Chamber music for beardy dude and Casio, perhaps? Fuckawful...

Babasonicos are an Argentine band with an awesome name... but... well, I think we should go ahead and ban the entirety of South America from ever making any more Rock music... seriously, there's plenty of other kinds of music that you're totally good at, guys, so just... stop... please...

Then, after that and not sucking is...

Rusko



Who he is: One Mr. Christopher Mercer of Leeds, West Yorkshire.

What he sounds like: Rusko spans the Dubstep spectrum, making some tunes featuring the slow tempo and extremely wobbly bits and some that come more from the 2-Step Garage end of things. Guess which one I like better...

Rusko - Love Is Real (ysi)

What I think: Not the best Dubstep artist in the world, but pretty much to only one here... so I'll take it. (Of course, I fully expect there to be plenty of Dubstep in the Dome but that's like, different or something.) Anyhoo, here he is, bad haircut and all...



That fauxhawk almost got yer arse skipped buddy. Just sayin'...

Blog-achella X: The Mayor of Soulville

Ok, so... a lot happened in the last week, not much of which was blogging. Sorry 'bout that to the two people who care (number rounded up for simplicity). But I'm back and quite possibly not going to have any more long delays here. There's only a few more weeks left 'til the big show, so I better not, right? So, back to it.

Only one band to skip today... Local Natives are a relatively non-offensive Indie Rock group from Silverlake... actually scratch that. The fact that they're from Silverlake kinda makes them offensive by definition. My bad. But we do like...

Mayer Hawthorne



Who he is: A white boy with some black in 'im.

What he sounds like: Very, very much like Jamie Lidell minus the electronics... or Amy Winehouse minus the uterus and crack habit... here's a track from the best Sixties Soul album of 2009...

Mayer Hawthorne - The Ills (ysi)

What I think: Looking forward to this one... he actually sounds very good live and I like the energy... but since he's a rapper in other groups, hyping up the crowd comes naturally, I'd imagine...



I hope he plays early in the day, right after Hypnotic Brass Ensemble... MAKE IT HAPPEN, TOLLETT, OR COME GIT YER COCK-PUNCHIN'!

Blog-achella X: Rollin' Sporadic

Hey all, sorry for the lack of posts these past couple weeks. I took a temporary job grooming Mo'Nique's leg hair during Oscar week. Harrowing. But paid well... Now, despite what you are about to read, I'm extremely excited for Sunday at Coachella. For one, it's the day I plan on going, so there's that... and for two, it's easily the strongest day of this year's festival... except maybe for the bottom line on the poster. To wit...

One EskimO aren't terrible or anything, but the first thing that popped into my head was "Mazzy Star with a dude", which troubles me for some reason... partly because I was really hoping for some actual Eskimo music, which is a much under-appreciated genre...

Delphic aren't bad either, but the first thing that popped into my head with them was "poor man's Friendly Fires", so... they're the kind of group to go see if no one you really like is playing and you probably won't even regret it... #backhandedcompliment

But nothing backhanded here... DJ Paparazzi is some fucking horrible fidget house bullshit. Music for Lindsay Lohan.

Kevin Devine is a singer/songwriter dude that adds a little electronics into the mix, which makes him slightly more interesting than the average singer/songwriter dude... but just slightly...

And since I'm feeling pissy today, there is no love for The Soft Pack and their generic Indie Rock, either...

Then we have Hadouken!, who take their name from the game Street Fighter, which is kind of cool... and is the only thing cool about them. Imagine the Prodigy being raped by Limp Bizkit and you're in the ballpark. Wretched...

And The Middle East are quite frankly guilty of the same kind of false advertising as One EskimO, in that they are a Folk-y band from Australia... not an oil-rich region torn apart by constant bloody wars over whose invisible man in the sky can beat up the other people's invisible man in the sky. But then the good stuff starts with...

Hypnotic Brass Ensemble



Who they are: Well, I actually just posted on these guys just a short time ago, so go read that and grab that tune to boot...

What they sound like: Funky-ass and all brass...

Hypnotic Brass Ensemble - Baji (ysi)

What I Think: Can't wait to see these guys do their thing...



Don't know what was up with the one dude grabbing his junk the whole time, but whatevs... back to a full week next week, for realsies...

Blog-achella X: Going back to move forward

So a funny thing happened while I was going through Saturday's lineup. They went and fooled around with Friday, adding four acts... pretty decent ones, except for one... and how fuckin' rude, eh? DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT I HAD ALREADY MOVED ON?!?! I HAVE NO TIME FOR SUCH FLIM-FLAMMERY!

Oh... wait. Actually I do. My bad...

The first add is Street Sweeper Social Club, which features rapper Boots Riley of The Coup doing his thing over Tom Morello's Heavy Metal riffage. But Rap Metal is so 1995, ya know? Not feelin' it so much...

Then, not added but rather moved from Sunday in an obvious effort to piss me off is the legendary Gil Scott-Heron. The new record is a trip, too. Heavily electronic... you'd think Massive Attack produced this jam...

Gil Scott-Heron - Me And The Devil (ysi)

See what I mean? Eh? Eh?

And you KNEW when the original lineup was announced and Perry Farrell wasn't on it... well you knew that wouldn't last for long. As I mentioned in my Faith No More post, they are obviously contractually obliged to have Perry there. That or he has pictures of Paul Tollett giving a horse a rim job. It's one or the other. Anyhoo, this time he's paired up with Fidget House DJ Steve Porter and I'm sure it will be dreadful, as all Perry Farrell DJ shenanigans have always been. I did, however, go see him play Drum & Bass once at Club Lingerie, but the most memorable part of that evening was seeing this couple pork in a corner booth. Ew.

But here is the exact opposite of "ew"...

Imogen Heap



Who she is: A brilliant Pop artist and she ain't bad to look at either...

What she sounds like: I guess some people (aka people who are stupid) might dismiss Imogen Heap as being, I dunno, EZ Listening or something... what with the pretty vocals and general airiness and lightness of her music. But, as I said, they are stupid. Like, Sarah Palin stupid, oh snap. Girl is on the cutting edge of electronics and live-looping, and you bet you'll see some of that action when she does this number...

Imogen Heap - Earth (ysi)

What I think: I think the last time I saw her at Coachella it sent shivers down my spine in the good way, and I fully expect that will be the case again. Watch the lady work, why don't you?



Fuckin' Metal at the end there, eh? See what I mean? Don't let the fact that her old band (Frou Frou) was championed by Zach Braff fool you... Imogen Heap is for realsies, and totally kicks La Roux out of the Friday top 5. Speaking of which, I forgot to do a Saturday Top 5 and Underdog Pick to steal the show, so here goes...

Top 5 For Saturday

1) Hot Chip
2) 2 Many DJs
3) Z-Trip
4) Corinne Bailey Rae
5) Faith No More

Underdog Pick of the Day - Bassnectar

Phew. You got all that? Good. Shit gets serious tomorrow. And this time I really mean tomorrow... probably...

Blog-achella X: America is apparently not a-Muse-d

Does it somewhat chap my Virgo ass that I didn't get Saturday's lineup tied up in a nice little bow on Friday, so that I could start Sunday today on Monday? You bet it does. And you bet reading that sentence back to myself almost made my head explode. But what's done is done, so here is your Saturday headliner...

Muse



Who they are: One of the biggest bands in the world to not actually sell that many records here in the U.S... they are one that we, as a nation, apparently do not get. Although I did know this lame-ass groupie chick once whose main claim to fame was that she porked the singer, and she was quite proud of it... so there's that. But really, how come no Coldplay-like sales?

What they sound like: That's a good question, and probably why America's Nickelback and T-Pain loving masses have no time for 'em. Muse are pretty damn weird when you get down to it. Very unpredictable. Half the time, it's this epic, Queen-esque Prog Rock... and then they drop something like this...

Muse - Undisclosed Desires (ysi)

What I think: So yeah, I'm not sure what to think about Muse, either... a lot of the time, they're a bit ponce-y for me, but I can't deny that when they hit on a good one it is very, very good. Bonus points for cool-as-fuck live setup...



Would I see 'em? Sure!

And that's Saturday... not as strong as Friday, if you ask me. And since you're reading my blog, I'm just gonna assume you did. Friday, actually, has gotten even better since we finished discussing it... I'll tell you how tomorrow. That's a strong tease, eh?