Dyne-amo!

You may have noticed lately how I've been in a bit of a hurry to cram in some of my favorite leftfield sounds of the year before it's over. That trend continues... now.



So, I dunno where this Julien Dyne cat came from, but... well, actually it's New Zealand, but you know what I mean... but I am feelin' this record...

Julien Dyne - Incredulous (ysi)

And here we have Mr. Dyne and some cronies jamming out on another one...



Nice shitty camera work there, eh? 'Til tomorrow...

Shibuya Sounds

Woo-hoo, it's "Hump Day". Everybody go hump something. NOT your cat...



You are quite likely to find Dutch producer Nicolay's new record in year-end lists of the best in Hip-Hop (I know I have)... which is incredibly wrong. Not because this isn't a good album, but it's nowhere near Hip-Hop, despite the fact that Nicolay, you know, does Hip-Hop. It's actually really hard to slap a genre on this one... it's a whole concept album thingy that touches on everything from Broken Beats to J-Pop to Jazzy to House to you name it. So, I guess the point of all this is that year-end lists are completely fucking meaningless. That's why I don't do 'em. Anyhoo, one track will not do it justice, it's really a piece that demands to be listened to all the way through... but one track is all you get, because suck it...

Nicolay - Meiji Shrine (ysi)

And yes, Meiji Shrine is an extremely cool real place. Dang, I want to go to Japan. Any of you wanna sport me a ticket?

Sell out? Yes, please!

Today's act is probably one of your best all-time examples of how "selling out" is, in fact, a fantastic idea...



... although Alabama 3 claim on their website that the use of their song "Woke Up This Morning" as the theme song for The Sopranos "...bought someone a swimming pool, but it sure wasn't any of us..." Now, I find this kinda hard to believe... unless, of course, they were a bunch of idiots and signed a bad deal. They wouldn't be the first. But either way, the fact that they even have a website (and more importantly a continuing career) probably has a lot to do with James Gandolfini and his paisans, don't ya think? Even so, I didn't even know they were still a going concern until today, and well... good for them...

Alabama 3 - U Don't Dance 2 Tekno Anymore (ysi)

From the title of the song, you'd think it might be about a retired raver such as myself, but it's actually far more depressing than that... apparently she don't dance 2 tekno anymore because... she dropped dead while dancing to tekno... from teh drugz... so good times...

Humperdinck in da House!

Sorry I missed House Music Friday last week. I was, um... meeting with Gloria Allred to figure out just how much hush money I can get out of Tiger Woods. I'm sure you understand. So... you think you can handle the House on Monday?



There is nothing, nada, and also jack shit out there for info on this Arif Vega person, so I'm just going to assume it's an alias for Englebert Humperdinck, whom I've always heard is a closet House head. Smokin' Beats, however, is in fact a real record label that's been around for a while, and although this is my first record from them, I think I may look into their output a bit more deeply. Because... not bad...

Arif Vega - I Wanna Be (Smokin' Beats Funk Dub) (ysi)

Nice work, Englebert. You sexy bitch, you...



AM I RIGHT, LADIES!?!?

You can hang any time

Contemporary Jazz that doesn't suck, and also doesn't come from Japan? Geddafuckouttahere...



... but I've said that before. After over 700 posts, I know that I repeat myself sometimes, which I suppose is natural... as I have very few original ideas and the ones I do have tend to be rather underwhelming. Unlike this new record from Britain's Portico Quartet, which is quite, um... whelming... indeed. Holy shitty segue, Batman. See what I mean? You try to be pithy and entertaining five days a week. Anyhoo, really good record. Atmospheric, dark, and a bit funky. And they use this thing called a hang which is some sort of tuned percussion instrument that looks like a couple of woks thrown together and sounds pretty cool. It's that thing at the beginning of this song that it's hard to tell what it is. Well, it's a hang, so impress your friends with that info, if that's the kind of info that impresses your friends...

Portico Quartet - Dawn Patrol (ysi)

Album of the year contender. And hey, wanna see the hang in action? OF COURSE YOU DO!



I also like the baby saxomaphone. Much cooler than the regular soprano that looks like a clarinet, if you ask me... and you were going to, I know you were...

Tiger Woods Gay Sex Tape... with Animals, Too?

Today's post title, well let's just call it a little experiment and move on...



Afro-Mystik is (was? is?) a project from Om Records head honcho DJ Fluid and your ever-popular rotating cast of characters... and for me is most note-worthy in that it was (is? was?) one of the few acts from this side of the pond that really does (did? does?) the Broken Beat thing. And yeah, I'm not exactly sure if they're still doing it. How could you tell?

Afro-Mystik - Natural

I also didn't realize DJ Fluid was the head of Om. I thought it was just some sort of mysterious cabal of some kind. Mysterious cabals are cool...

Hullaballo Redux-a-roo

Ho ho ho, pimps and hoes! So, I really wanted to do a new Holiday mix for you this year, but the 'asploded nature of my iTunes would make it way too hard... besides, this shit is a stone cold classic that could not be improved upon, ever, even by the powers of Jeebus and Santa combined. Huzzah!

Tonegent presents "The Happy Holiday Hullabaloo"

(Continuous Mix - 72:16 - 99.25Mb @ 192kps)

1) Mr. Mackey - Carol of the Bells
2) Dean Martin - Jingle Bells (Dan The Automator Remix)
3) Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra - O Come All Ye Faithful
4) Count Sidney - Soul Christmas
5) Clarence Carter - Backdoor Santa
6) Rufus Thomas - I'll Be Your Santa, Baby
7) Run-DMC - Christmas In Hollis
8) Kurtis Blow - Christmas Rappin'
9) Mr. Garrison - Merry Fucking Christmas
10) A plus D - Give Da Jew Girl Toys (Sarah Silverman)
11) DJ John - The Christmas Massacre of Charlie Brown
12) Mojochronic - Yuletide Zeppelin
13) Freddie McGregor - Irie Christmas
14) Poncho Sanchez - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
15) Wham! - Last Christmas
16) Members Only - Christmas Eve
17) Stephanie Cooke - It's Xmas
18) Nathan Fake - Silent Night
19) Mel Torme - The Christmas Song (Sonny J Remix)


Enjoy!

Big numbers

Which number is greater... the number of "trip-hop" albums released in the late '90s or the number of hoes in different area codes on the speed dial of Tiger Woods? Well, we can't be sure just yet, but here's what we know...



There were approximately 1,462,985 "trip-hop" albums released that followed the tried and true formula of girl singer + knob twiddler(s), and this is undoubtedly one of them. About 682,254 of these albums touched on Drum & Bass vibes and this is also one of those. I guess the point is there's a lot of this stuff out there, but how much of it holds up now? Certainly not all of it, but this Baxter record still sounds pretty good. The singing girl, Nina Ramsby, also had a pretty good little Indie Rock band called Salt, and although the knob-twiddling guys don't seem to have done much past this project, they did a pretty good job of keeping it not boring (although you'll hear a verrrry noticeable section here that sounds ripped directly from Hoovercheebahead). Now, every one of these types of albums had one track on it where the knob twiddlers got to step forward and show how tough they were when they didn't have to make sissy beats for girls to sing over... here is Baxter's...

Baxter - So Much I've Heard (ysi)

So, going back to our opening questions... Tiger's only at 9 now but give it some more time...



That could only have been better if they'd hired Nate Dogg...

H is for Half-assed

House Music Friday today once again celebrates lack of effort, the true American way...



JT Donaldson is a House guy that's been around for quite some time making House tunes for all the House heads. Here's one of them...

JT Donaldson - News (ysi)

So yeah. Have a great weekend!

Really? No, seriously... really?

So... I see this morning that The Crystal Method has been nominated for a Grammy for "Best Electronic Album". Wow. Fuck the Grammys right in the face...



But you knew that. So moving on, here's an electronic album from 2009 that actually is one of the best I've heard. Lusine is the name. Get to know it. If you need to forget The Crystal Method ever even existed to make the room, go on ahead...

Lusine - Gravity (ysi)

That sure was purdy. Okay, back to re-negotiating Elin's pre-nup...

Black Heat and Sexual Chocolate

... because no one could possibly land on this site whilst looking for, um... shall we say, something else on Google...



With the possible exception of Sexual Chocolate, Black Heat might just be the best name for a Funk band ever. And if you've taken a name that good for your band, you better not suck. If you give your band a good name and you suck, you should have to give that name back. Shitty bands should have shitty names. Like Deerhoof. They did it right! Black Heat, luckily for them, did it right, too...

Black Heat - Check It All Out (ysi)

Also, this song is proof that the economy doesn't just suck now... it always sucks for somebody. And that's okay, because it generally makes for good music. Hello, the Blues! People get too happy and you end up with shit like "Don't Worry, Be Happy" or "The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades"... music which, ironically, makes you want to kill yourself... and since I don't really have anything to tie all this together, ladies and gentlemen... give it up for Sexual Chocolate...



Sexual Chocolate!

The Great State of 808

Hey all. Back again after a slightly longer than expected Thanksgiving hiatus. Blame all the Rohypnol tryptophan I ate...



I guess you could count 808 State as being the act that officially introduced me to House music via their classic "Pacific"... which oddly enough was in the regular rotation at the Industrial dance night I frequented in college, played right along with the likes of Meat Beat Manifesto and MC 900 Ft. Jesus for all the kids in combat boots if you can believe it. So yes, you could definitely count that. (Instead of what's probably the real answer, Madonna's "Vogue"... but who wants to admit that, right?). One of the true great acts of the early rave scene... recognize, fools...

808 State - Nimbus (ysi)

Just like me to talk about one song and give you another. You think I'm gonna zig, but NO! ZAGGIN' ALL THE WAY, BITCHES! "Pacific" does have an awesomely cheesy 1989 video, though...



Seriously, though... that club night would go right from that to Front 242. But it was Syracuse, New York, so you gotta give 'em points just for trying. They'd only recently discovered the phonograph machine at the time...

Blog to the Future

I'm on a goofy schedule this week, supporting our show as it films all the hell the way in Australia... they're 17 hours ahead, so right now it's tomorrow there already. So I'm feeling like I'm working IN THE FUTURE! WE GOTS THE FLYING CARS! EVERYBODY NOW HATES RAYMOND! SOCCER ISN'T GAY ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU GET TO USE LASERS! IT'S CRAZY!



Anyhoo, here's some more Dubstep gear for ya, courtesy of Untold. Actually, I'm not sure what to call this one, as it's kind of on the border of Broken Beat. Is this what they call "Funky"? Because there's something they call "Funky" now...

Untold - Palamino (ysi)

Well, whatever you call it, I kinda like it. And that's as deep a statement as you're gonna get outta me today. It's way past my bedtime...

Truebeats

House Music Friday once again goes slo-mo and lo-fi...



I've already once given you all the insight I have on Mr. Rainer Truby... he's good at music and bad at not being dumb. Well, he's lived up to the first part of that again with this one... supposedly a tribute to Roy Ayers, but I'm not sure what Ayers tracks (if any) are sampled here. Don't matter though... I've been in love with this track since Matthieu Schreyer dropped it a couple weeks ago on KCRW...

Rainer Truby - Ayers Rock (ysi)

The A-side is a pretty nice Stevie re-edit, btw... and have a great weekend, you...

No can do

And now for yet another version of one of the true classics of White Boy (Plus Vaguely Ethnic Guy With Moustache) Soul...



Personally I would have to rank Hall & Oates' "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" right up there will "Billie Jean" as a contender for Best Song of the Whole Freakin' '80s. And I imagine that if this was the kind of blog that was "read" by "people" who "commented", I bet that statement would certainly set off a fierce debate in the comments. But alas, I'm not here to fool myself. Anyhoo, the Swedish producer known as Beatconductor (among about 15 other aliases) has done made a nifty re-edit of the classic, adding some tougher drums and some rhodes and generally rearranging stuff... because that's what re-edits do, ya dig? Better than the original? Heresy! But it's certainly a bit more dancefloor ready...

Beatconductor - I Can't Go For That (ysi)

But hey, you have many choices for your "I Can't Go For That" needs... from De La's "Say No Go" to that sick peaktime House White label by I Have No Idea Who from a few years back to the goofy P.J Pooterhoots version to... you get the idea... Collect 'em all!

It's better than a spring loaded shot to the nuts, at least...

You know who still likes Acid Jazz? Why, Japanese people, of course!



Yeah, it's kind of a dirty word and all but it is happy music generally and the Japanese seem to be a happy bunch. You would be too if you had flying cars and robot hamsters like they do. So you get people like Kenichi Ikeda, aka Root Soul still workin' the A to the J. I can't think of any other genre you could put this in... it's so Brand New Heavies, it hurts. Vocals by the not Japanese but British Vanessa Freeman, whose own solo record is an excellent broken beat affair that you should also go find out about. I can't do everything for you...

Root Soul - It's The Way (ft. Vanessa Freeman (ysi)

Nice one. And here's a little tip: If you ever visit Japan, do not go on a game show, no matter what the prizes are...



It's Super Happy Crush Balls Hour! Banzai!

How many channels do you get?

After unleashing all that comedy gold on you yesterday, I think I'll keep it low key today. Don't want you to pull a hammy laughing or anything...



I always thought that girls who make music (meaning girl producers) were super cool, basically because they combined two of my favorite things... girls and music. Kind of a no-brainer, eh? So, The Angel, aka 60 Channels was a gal from the L.A. scene who made music... so super cool. She did (and apparently still does) Downtempo and Drum & Bass, and though she never got terribly big it was some pretty decent stuff. To wit...

60 Channels - Laid Back & Eazy (ysi)

'Til tomorrow...

One scary lookin' dude...

What would you do... if your daughter came home... with THIS MAN...



Marcos Valle may not be as well-known as Antonio Jobim, Jorge Ben or the various assorted Gilbertos, but he is just as big a deal in the world of Brazilian music. I'm guessing it's the bad boy look he's rocking up there that turned folks off. People don't react so well to such raw, unbridled aggression, guy. You need to stop taking fashion tips from Marilyn Manson. (Quick note: My first choice for that joke was G.G. Allin, but I decided I'd like someone to get it) Anyhoo, here's an instrumental jam with some hot hot hot bateria...

(DMCA'd?!?! WTF?!?!)

And how about the Olympics being awarded to Rio? I heard that 100M Mugging and Team Kidnapping have been added as demonstration events... BOING!

Phat Beats and Phisticuffs

I don't know how many of you like the boxing, but I gotta say that was some show Manny Pacquiao put on Saturday night. He basically gave Miguel Cotto the soon-to-be-patented "1000 Fist Facial"... check out the loser's grill after the fight...


"So, where does it hurt?" "Yes."

But lucky for Cotto, Las Vegas is the home of some of the best plastic surgeons in the world and they were able to fix him up better than ever. Here's a picture of the new Miguel taken earlier this morning...


"Hey ladies... the line for moustache rides starts to the left!"

So I guess it all worked out pretty well for Cotto in the end... which is nice because he was a good fighter. Just not Saturday when he got his ass SMASHED...



Of course, none of that has anything to do with today's tune, from young British rapper Speech Debelle. This Roots Manuva-produced record made the Mercury Prize shortlist... which is, I believe, a good thing. It's one of the most acoustic and introspective Rap albums you're likely to ever hear... mellow beats and thoughtful lyrics ABOUND...

Speech Debelle - Finish This Album (ysi)

I can't wait for Pacquiao/Mayweather. Literally cannot wait. I just tried waiting and it hurt. Let's DO THIS!

I'm in Playboy and you're not.

(Click to see a bigger version and a video at Playboy.com)

I get some fun perks at my job. This has to be the best one yet.

You're killin' me, Quizno's!

Gah! What the hell happened to Quizno's meatball subs? They used to be so good, but what I just got was a soggy bun full of soggy shit. This world's goin' to Hell in a handbasket, I tells ya!



So yeah, it's a good thing that Floating Points' music is a lot better than his artwork, because... damn... that's worse than the sub I just ate. Super-vibey slowed down House goodness... wait for the bassline...

Floating Points - Truly (ysi)

Have a great weekend and stay away from the meatball...

Nerds don't do Playboy shoots... or do they?

I have been up to my tits in new Dubstep records all day... so here's some obscure French '70s Funk...



There is very little information out there about Ben & The Platano Group, but really... who wants to fill their head up with useless things like "facts" and "knowledge". That shit's for nerds. Oh, wait. I'm a nerd... hmmmm... Anyhoo, most of the album funks harder than this one, but this is where the shuffle landed and everybody loves a little "wakka-wakka" guitar, no?

Ben & The Platano Group - Culzean (ysi)

So that's all well and good, but certain things are better. Like this video. I'm the only person that talks in it, just so's ya know... and not to be a dick about it, but... yes, my job is better than yours. Suck it.

Super heavy metal

Now here's some shit an old band geek like me can really get behind...



I would be talking about the Hypnotic Brass Ensemble, straight outta Chicago. And just like yesterday's act, the name tells you exactly what you need to know... except they coulda replaced "Hypnotic" with "Dayum Fonkay". But either way... you got 8 horns and a drummer. Oh, and that album title is no joke... they are all actual (half) brothers, sons of a Jazz musician (no, really?) whom I had never heard of and won't pretend to in order to seem cool. Get ready for a brass-gasm...

Hypnotic Brass Ensemble - Venus (ysi)

And here's an example of why both this band and NYC are very, very good things...



Yeah, if that doesn't float your boat... well then, I hope your boat sinks...

Funky beats and idle threats

Sometimes the name of an act tells you exactly what you are in for...



All Good Funk Alliance are to funky Breaks what Inland Knights are to funky House. The kinda-under-the-radar guys who are both prolific and consistently awesome. Like the Knights, these dudes simply do not put out a bad track, even though they put out a heck of a lot of tracks. It's called being good at music. The beat on this jam is crispy like bacon, yo...

All Good Funk Alliance - Swing The South (ysi)

And as I alluded there's plenty more where that came from, so get at it. Also, get out your text message device and vote for Chelsea Lately for the People's Choice Award for Best Talk Show! Text "Vote" to 24475. Do it! DO IT! DO IT OR I'LL POST NOTHING BUT KENNY G. AND MICHAEL BOLTON! DON'T MAKE ME GO THERE! Seriously, don't make me...

That's Dr. Kode9 to you!

I hope none of you are sick of the Dubstep yet, because I'm not even close...



Kode9, aka Steve Goodman (which is not nearly as Techno), was one of the first Dubstep artists I ever heard, so... well, actually there's not much more to that. He was one of the first ones I heard. So yeah. Anyhoo, he's the founder of the extremely cool Hyperdub label and also holds a Ph.D. in philosophy... which I'm sure helps him immensely in... some way. If you dug the Joy Orbison record from a few weeks ago, I'm sure this one will also make your pants happy...

Kode9 - Black Sun (ysi)

Here's Dr. Goodman showing off all that brainpower and pontificating on stuff via XLR8R..



Smart guy. Top tune. 'Til tomorrow...

Rollin' with my homies

House Music Friday is keepin' it in the family today...



I've mentioned before that I have friends that are far better at music than I am, and here's one of 'em. Sebastian Ciceri is his name, and pimpin' is his game. Well, not really, but that was a dope rhyme, yo. Homey is a crazy skilled bass player and electronic beatmeister, and his latest release is 100% dancefloor goodness... is it breaks-y house or house-y breaks? Either way, if I told you it was Plump DJs or Stanton Warriors, you would believe me, that's how fat these beats is...

Sebastian Ciceri - Groove Nation (ysi)

You need to now proceed to his website and buy it!

While you're there, check out Seb's "Moonlit Heavy" releases for a more cinematic experience and the special secret photo section for hot man-on-man action. Okay, maybe I made the second part up... have a great weekend, peeps.