Blog-achella 08: The Anti-Christ (plus Friday wrap-up)

To finish out your Friday artists, here's the dude that has the Indie Kids' panties in a bunch. Actually, I'd say their panties are in more of an atomic wedgie situation...

Jack Johnson



Who he is: Easily the most maligned Coachella daily headliner in history. But man, he's just a dude, bra. He just likes to chill and surf and drink a beer and strum his guitar, man. Why you gotta be hatin' on the dude? Why you gotta be peein' on his proverbial carpet? Whaddaya you say, Dude?



Well put!

What he sounds like: He's just up there jammin' with his bras, dude. He's just strummin' and singin' and it's vaguely funky but not really and theres a piano sometimes... but it's just so damn innocuous, dude...

Jack Johnson - If I Had Eyes (ysi)

What I think: ... which is exactly the problem, I guess. For a festival that's built it's reputation by staying away from radio pop, to have the current king of adult alternative radio pop headlining is a bit of a strange choice. Or, if you're a douchebag Indie Kid, it's the end of the feckin' world. You know what, just deal with, ya twatwaffles! There are plenty of your favorite shitty bands playing on Friday, as we've seen, so just let the people who wanna see Jack see him and enjoy him and (most importantly) shut the fuck up. Those people think your favorite band sucks, too. And you know what... they're right.

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And so there you have, it... Friday's line-up. Howzabout a little quickie rundown, which I've handily divided into four categories...

Don't Miss: The Verve, Fatboy Slim, Mum, Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, Spank Rock... yep, that's really all the acts I'd label don't miss... and that's a heckuva fine day of music by itself. But you'd also have time to see some of the bands in category 2 and make it a double heckuva fine day...

Worth A Look: The National, Pendulum, Stars, Midnight Juggernauts, Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip, Diplo, Adam Freeland, Santogold, Architecture In Helsinki, Cut Copy, Datarock, The Bees, Rogue Wave, Luckyiam... see? You're so gellin'... and you don't even have to bother with...

Meh: The Raconteurs, The Breeders, Tegan and Sara, The Swell Season, Aesop Rock, Does It Offend You, Yeah?, Minus the Bear, John Butler Trio, Busy P, Reverend & The Makers ... who, you know, if that's yer bag and all go for it, but I'll pass... which leaves...

Teh Suck: Slightly Stoopid, Battles, Les Savy Fav, Jens Lekman, Vampire Weekend, Dan Deacon, Black Kids, Sandra Collins, Black Lips, Professor Murder, Porter, American Bang... none of whom should be seen by anyone ever...

But hey, that's just my (extemely well-informed and undebatable) opinion. Next week, we begin Saturday, the day I will be attending... so I might even be arsed to put some effort into it... :P

Have a fantastic weekend!

Blog-achella 08: Don't believe the hype

Stepping out of order for a late addition to the Friday line-up...

Black Kids



Who they are: Some ugly lookin' folks from Jacksonville, Florida, of all places, who, by the way, don't even have a freakin' record out yet... more on that later...

What they sound like: More mediocre Indie rock... more on that later as well...

Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You (ysi)

What I think: Okay, I'm going to forego my usual (immensely accurate and hilariously entertaining) comments this time, in order to direct you to this ridiculously dead on article from Idolator. Required reading, that.

You like it kinky?

It's Leap Day, February 29th, the day that only happens once every four years! I had a friend whose birthday was on Leap Day, and when it was actually her birthday, she'd be like "I'm 7!" when actually she was 30... gay...



But anyhoo, it's House Music Leap Day! Today's selection comes from a bunch of Nottingham blokes with the excellent moniker Kinky Movement. Much like Joey Youngman, these guys have just made their way onto my radar recently... but if a label like Drop Music is putting out their jams, you know they got it goin' on. Check out this funky goodness...

Kinky Movement - Be-Bop (ysi)

All night long, baby...

Blog-achella 08: The big reunion

Now here's this year's official Coachella "Reunion To Get All Excited About"... and yeah, I know they've been back together for a few months now, but whateva... close enough!

The Verve



Who they are: Probably the best of all the Brit Rock acts of the '90s (noting that I give Radiohead their own genre of one), and the recipients of one of the biggest fuck-jobs all time courtesy of The Rolling Stones.

What they sound like: They sound like awesome. And this is my favorite, albeit completely depressing, song of theirs...

The Verve - The Drugs Don't Work (ysi)

What I think: There's one real reason I'm pissed I can't go on Friday, and that's because I'll be missing The Verve. Curses, gainful employment! Curses!

Mouf Soundz!

This here is one of those groups that, in addition to making good music, possesses the extra "Wow" factor when it comes to method, and the fact that the group is made up of a bunch of white Austrian dudes... that beatbox... gives it even more "WTF?"...



... and that group is the so-called "vocal groove project" known as Bauchklang. And yep, the song you are about to hear was made nothing but the human voice, some good compression and reverb. Maybe these aren't the only folks that do that sort of thing, but I've never heard it done so well... credit mad skeelz and good songwriting...

Bauchklang - Don't Step (ysi)

Just so you know, I first got tipped to Bauchklang by the excellent blog Comfort Music, which posted a couple tracks a while back, and I liked it so much I went out and got me the album. So suck on that, RIAA!

Here's a little YouTubes look at the boys in action...



Incredible stuff... come to America, Bauchklang! Of course, if you did, some record label putz would probably insist that you change your name to something like Mouf Soundz... on second thought, just keep doin' what yer doin... :P

Blog-achella 08: Jack sheds the deadweight

Question: How is a band a "supergroup" when it only has one famous member? Discuss...

The Raconteurs



Who they are: They're what happened when Jack White decided one day that he'd like to participate in a band in which the other members could actually play their instruments.

What they sound like: Solid rock, I mean, this is by no means bad, but!... I wouldn't say it's terribly interesting...

The Raconteurs - Hands (ysi)

What I think: ... because it's a throwback sound that sounds a lot like a lot of other stuff. Do you really think that people would think this band was all that special if Jack White wasn't in it? Honestly? That said, they're bound to be much better live than The White Stripes, who are just awful to watch. Oh, wait, maybe you like 12-minute guitar masturbations while some borderline retarded chick pounds the snare, tom and kick on the 1's over and over again... because that's what it is, dammit!

Across the ocean, across the styles

A little genre-bending trans-continental remixeroo action today...



... as L.A. (by way of Colorado Springs(!)) hip-hoppers The Procussions meet Parisian DJ/Remixer Grant Phabao and we get some rap inna rubba-dub style. The Procussions have recently broken up to pursue solo stuff, but they put out a couple of nice albums of laid-back, jazzy hip-hop worth peeping. Mr. Phabao is one of those guys keeping the name of King Tubby and the like alive with his dub stylees. This was one of those remixes where nobody ever met anyone, but they sent stuff back and forth on the Interweb tubes and voila!

The Procussions - Simple Song (Grant Phabao Remix) (ysi)

And since this joint was all unofficial-like, it was made available for free at Paris DJs.com, so you can snag it and enjoy it guilt-free... not that you have any guilt about downloading music, ya jackals... :P

Blog-achella 08: Prepare to be unimpressed

And now, I present you with an extremely half-assed post... :P

The Breeders



Who they are: An offshoot of The Pixies, as you might recall... or not... it's been a while.

What they sound like: Gotta be honest with ya... for some reason I know jack diddly shit about The Breeders, except for "Cannonball", so therefore...

The Breeders - Cannonball (ysi)

What I think: I find it hard to get excited about a band that I wasn't even that excited about 15 years ago when they were popular. Does that make me an old curmudgeon? If so, then so be it!

Blog-achella 08: Fatboy Slim is fucking in Indio

I'm sorry, but if you hate on this guy, you're just a wanker...

Fatboy Slim



Who he is: An old, old man who's probably on his last 20 or so brain cells.

What he sounds like: You know, it seems like there's been a bit of a Fatboy Slim backlash, that people don't think he's as relevant as he used to be and that type of hogwash... but hey, Norman is no Moby. Norman doesn't have a gay little overpriced tea shop or hang out at the flash parties or make political statements when nobody gives a shit what he thinks... nope, Norman just does his thing... gets fucking lit, makes big hits (and far better ones at that) and moves asses, like he's done for over a decade. And I'm gonna take you back that far, to what I think may be his best track ever, a track with the most brain-melting breakdown/build-up ever put to wax...

Fatboy Slim - Everybody Needs A 303 (ysi)

What I think: Shit, I just got my vicarious roll on listening to that! The thing about a Fatboy Slim set is that he's having so much fun up there, ripped to the tits, that you can't help but join him. If you've never seen him spin, do NOT miss it. What, you gonna go watch Jack Johnson instead? That would be like passing up free Superbowl tickets to attend a hacky-sack match on your cousin's lawn and grill meat weiners (your stupid cousin was too stoned to remember to buy beef franks) on a rusty hibachi. But hey, if that's what yer into...

Boards of awesome-ness

Today, an act that people have been begging Goldenvoice to book for Coachella for years... the only problem being that these guys pretty much never ever play live.



And that act would be the "mysterious" Scottish brothers Boards Of Canada. Considering how damn good their music is, I can't blame people for wanting to see 'em. There aren't too many people who can touch these dudes' downtempo creations. But you don't get the sense that they don't play out because they're difficult twats (I'm looking in your direction, Richard James), rather that they just kinda carn't be arsed. I mean, you gotta get all the gear together, learn all the songs, slog around in a van... who wants all that bother? These dudes just wanna chill in their little cabins and have tea and crumpets or whatever it is that British people do in their little cabins... and I won't hate on 'em for that. Crumpets are good, yo...

Boards Of Canada - The Beach At Redpoint (ysi)

Just so you know, you pretty much need to own everything Boards Of Canada have put out. So put that on your crumpet and butter it!

Blog-achella 08: The L-word!

If I may be a typical male for a minute...

Tegan And Sara



Who they are: Identical twin sisters and they're lesbians? Now, this sounds like an absolute can't lose situation, right here!

What they sound like: Seems like they've taken their Indie Pop up a notch with a fuller sound lately after getting famous producer guy Chris Walla to do his stuff on their new record...

Tegan And Sara - The Con (ysi)

What I think: ... but it's still not quite my cup of tea. Getting better, though. What can I say... I expect more from lesbian twin sisters. Wait, were we talking about music?

Blog-achella 08: The Oscars rock Coachella... softly...

Okay, I said I watched the Oscars last night... I didn't say anything about paying attention. I didn't even realize that the next Blog-achella act, like, won one. How's that for wacky timing?

The Swell Season



Who they are: The singer from Irish band The Frames and his 19-year-old Czech sex muffin. Nice.

What they sound like: Reaaaaaaalllyy mellow, acoustic and folky. And Oscar-winning! They now have something in common with Juicy J!

The Swell Season - Falling Slowly (ysi)

What I think: It's purdy and all, but trying to see an act that plays music this quiet at Coachella is almost always an act of complete frustration. You either get drowned out by the rawk comin' from the big stage, the boom-boom-boom from the Sahara tent, or the annoying high people who won't just, you know, shut the fuck up for five seconds... so keep that caveat in mind, sucka.

Tunes make the blog go 'round

Well, if it isn't Monday again... watch the Oscars last night? I did, but don't really have any comments because I've only seen like three of the nominated movies. Was happy to see the gal from La Vie En Rose win, though... just watched that movie Saturday and it's a good one. As for the music performed last night... ugh. Just ugh. Obviously they are going to be trying to make up for giving Three Six Mafia that Oscar for a few years. They were drunk, you know... someone slipped 'em some Purp, then next thing you know someone called Juicy J has an Oscar... anyhoo...



I don't think Jazz vocalist Dee Dee Bridgewater has ever dropped the hook on a Juicy J production, but despite that shortcoming she's had quite a successful career in Jazz and on Broadway. Since you probably can't read the teeny-tiny print on the album cover, I'll tell you it's called Afro-Blue, it was her first record, and here she does a nice version of one of my favorite jams...

Dee Dee Bridgewater - People Make The World Go Round (ysi)

... love the Innerzone Orchestra version of that song, too... go find it. This record's out-of-print, so get on that Google Blog search if you want the whole thing. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

Blog-achella 08: Can't think of a good title for this post...

This week's Blog-achella posts conclude with a band that had one of the most well-reviewed records of the year... but that doesn't necessarily mean they're any good... or does it?

The National



Who they are: A Brooklyn-by-way-of-Cincinnati Indie Rock band. Random tidbit: Watched a documentary last night called Eat This New York about two dudes opening a restaurant in Brooklyn and the New York restaurant tradition in general... very good...

What they sound like: Said well-reviewed record, Boxer, is a very mellow affair, all strings and piano and the singer's baritone voice, but I'm told that their earlier stuff rocked a bit harder.

The National - Fake Empire (Live - from The White Session) (ysi)

What I think: Said baritone voice doesn't always work for me, but it's an okay record, nicely atmospheric. Best of the year? Nah. Rate 'em on the good side of "meh", but there would have to be a lack of other good acts playing at the same time for me to see 'em.

Have a great weekend!

Why haven't they signed Olivia Newton-John?

Since we got all disco-fied yesterday, House Music Friday ventures once more into darker territory...



Get Physical Music is a label that's been doing some real damage lately, serving up the tech-house goodness with acts like Booka Shade and M.A.N.D.Y. topping their impressive roster. You probably already know about those guys, because you're so cool, but maybe you haven't yet met Elektrochemie. They are two German dudes and a girl, which is a much better combination than two girls and one cup. And if you don't get what I mean by that, you're much better off for it. They've got some nice ones out there, and here's one of 'em... deep & dark with breathy female vocals...

Elektrochemie - Caiti (ysi)

Definitely diggin' that sound...

And it's time for some more housecleaning 'round here. This will be your last chance to raid the May archives, 'cuz that stuff's gotta go. There's tunes from folks like Mark Ronson, Cinematic Orchestra, Talking Heads, Plump DJs and a bunch more, ripe for the plunder, so get on it because they will be gone by Monday. However, I did go ahead and re-up the Brazilian "Hello Summer" DJ mix for those of you who might be new around here... so check it out and get your Rio on...

Blog-achella 08: Spare some change?

Prepare your bong load, here's another act for the Jack Johnson fans...

Slightly Stoopid



Who they are: A buncha lunkheads from San Diego, like you couldn't a guessed that. They're into, like, surfin' and beer and partyin', wooo!

What they sound like: If I may steal a concept from Bill Simmons, you've all heard of the phrase "so-n-so is like a poor man's so-n-so". Well he takes that one step farther, to the sub-"poor man's" level, aka the "homeless man's" level, therefore... Slightly Stoopid is like a homeless man's Sublime.

Slightly Stoopid - Everything You Need (ysi)

What I think: Now, I loved Sublime and I'm not diametrically opposed to this kind of music per se (hell, I'll even admit to seeing G. Love & Special Sauce once... at Coachella mind, you... it was early and no one else was playing... and you know what, I didn't hate it), but... these guys kinda stink. Homeless man's, indeed.

Blog-achella 08: Mum's the word

Here's an act that has "sunset time slot" written all over it...

Mum



Who they are: A bunch of happy-looking Icelandic folk. They're just all so freakin' happy in Iceland, aren't they? As a matter of fact, I think I read a news article recently that said Iceland is the best country to live in in the world, based on economics, low crime rate, and the fact that Bjork will come to your house and make you cupcakes if you call her ahead of time. I wanna go to Iceland.

What they sound like: I'm gonna throw "a mellower Boards of Canada with the odd girlie vocal" at ya. Whaddaya think?

Mum - We Have A Map Of The Piano (ysi)

What I think: Like I said, a band like this playing outside while the sun goes down in the desert = fuck and yes. They better make that happen... but then again, Jack Johnson was booked to headline, so all bets are off.

Disco doesn't (always) suck

No, really, I'm serious! Bear with me, here...



Yeah, a large majority of Disco does in fact suck large hairy coconuts, but much like how even a shitty movie can have a couple of good scenes (most likely involving young, supple breasts), it's not all bad. And there are a couple of major sources of this knowledge. One would be TJ Gorton's awesome blog American Athlete and the other would be any disco compilation mixed by Monsieur Dimitri From Paris. Pretty much for me it comes down to the strings. I hate the cheesy disco strings just as much as you do. But you take those strings out, what do you have? Stuff that sounds kinda like House! And we like house! So here's a no-strings-having Latin disco-funk jammy from Dimitri's Disco Forever compilation, courtesy of The LTG Exchange, who I can't find squat about...

The LTG Exchange - Corazon (ysi)

See? It's okay to admit that you sorta kinda like some certain disco songs. No one's gonna hate you for it... I promise!

Blog-achella 08: Bring on the fat guy!

Get ready for the fat guy, but first...

Pendulum



Who they are: Aussies (yep, them... again...) Before the first act plays, everyone at Coachella will join together and lift up their voices in a rousing version of "Waltzing Matilda".

What they sound like: Drum & Bass! It seems like every year, by rule, there is exactly one Drum & Bass act. It's like affirmative action for fading dance music genres... these guys are hard, fast, and often Heavy Metal guitar-y...

Pendulum - Slam (ysi)

What I think: As far as D&B goes, I'm sorry to say I find these guys kinda "meh". The guitars (of which there's a lot in the live clips you can see on their website) are where they lose me. That said, the video for this song is genius...



Dancing Fat Guy = Comedy Gold, every damn time.

Blog-achella 08: Funk fi-yah!

Okay, pretend I was going to Coachella on Friday instead of Saturday (can't, stupid "job")... then I could say "Believe it or not, this is the act I'm most excited to see on Friday", and you'd be like, "Really?", and I'd be like "Really!"

Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings



Who they are: They are one bad black mama and the (mostly) white boys that back her up. Because it seems that most all of the hippest current funk "revival" bands are pretty darn white in composition. Discuss...

What they sound like: Like they stepped straight out of 1965 and straight into your ass! In a good way... In a good way!

Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings - Give Me A Chance (ysi)

What I think: Fuck and yes. I mean, I don't need to say much about it. If you can't dig Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings, you're probably rooting for the terrorists to win. How 'bout some extra video goodness?



Now, if you still can't dig it... (sighs, shakes head dismissively, resumes getting funky)

Don't piss off Primo!

It's been like three months since I served up some old school NYC boom-bap for ya... wassupwiddat?



Jeru The Damaja is probably not a name you've heard too much of recently, but he is certainly a memorable MC of the early '90s. He's got one of those great gravelly voices and his first two albums, produced by none other than DJ Premier, rank as essential releases of the era. But then, it seems, he kinda started acting like a cock, pissed off Primo, and faded into semi-obscurity. The moral of the story? Don't piss off Primo...



"Dont' piss me off, yo."


Fo reals. But he'll always have those first two records, and here's a classic joint for ya...

Jeru The Damaja - Whatever (ysi)

Jeru actually just put out a new album last Fall. Did you know that? Me neither! Point proven! :P

Blog-achella 08: Nice hair, dude

Tryin' to fight off the flu, here... wish me luck...

Stars



Who they are: A group from Montreal, Canada, whose music is thankfully no where near as ridiculous as that one guy's hair. Seriously, dude the diagonal high-lighted pink mohawk is so last week.

What they sound like: Some very nice Indie Pop. I'm almost positive this song has been in a commercial, though I wasn't able to find it. Let's just say if it hasn't, it certainly should be...

Stars - The Night Starts Here (ysi)

What I think: Me likey. Actually, one time I went to Amoeba to shop for music and suddenly found myself smack in the middle of a Stars in-store performance. I was nicely impressed then, and continue to be now. Wow, that politeness doesn't sound like me, does it? Fuck fuck shit! There, that's better...

Blog-achella 08: Oompa Loompa mosh pit!

People have been saying that this year's Coachella lineup is certainly a bit odd, but I think I've figured out what the deal is... I've figured out the exact demographic they are catering to...

Battles



Who they are: A New York band.

What they sound like: I've seen the term "math rock" used. That term is gay. That term does not come close to properly describing this music. This music is Heavy Metal for Oompa Loompas. I dare you to listen to it and not see that...

Battles - Atlas (ysi)

What I think: Man, that's feckin' awful, innit? But certainly the Oompa Loompa dance party at Dan Deacon will make it's way over to these guys for some headbanging... yep, these guys are all over this shit...



"We've found a suitable whore! Let the triple penetration commence!"


I just calls 'em as I sees 'em, folks...

Sings like a bird

Today, a great vocalist who is finally getting her own shine...



British singer Martina Topley-Bird has been heard here on Tonegents a couple of times, doing vocals for both David Holmes and Tricky, but today we take a listen to her first solo album, which features collaborations with folks such as, um... David Holmes and Tricky... oh, well... go with what works for ya, I guess :P The sound is sorta along those dark, sultry Trip-Hop lines as well, and it's a nice listen...

Martina Topley-Bird - Soul Food (ysi)

Martina's got a new one coming out in May, and there are downloadable goodies from that available on her website. Hmm, this blog is sounding like an advertisement today, isn't it? "And the first 10 to order will receive the melon baller, a $25 value, absolutely free!"...

Blog-achella 08: Does he call his tracks "fables"?

Now we have a must-see for the Hip-Hop heads, whose choices are kinda slim at the 'Chella this year...

Aesop Rock



Who he is: White rapper alert!

What he sounds like: Underground Hip-Hop, and I can't lie to ya, homeboy's sound is a bit, shall we say... obtuse...

Aesop Rock - Super Fluke (ysi)

What I think: So yeah, interesting... certainly a unique flow and certainly interesting beats, but not exactly party-starting material, knowhutimean? I'd add more, but I'm still distracted by the Lindsay Lohan photo shoot from New York Magazine that surfaced today. What can I say, men are pigs and I is a men. Sue me. :P